Struggling - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-30-2015, 04:47 PM
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Re: Struggling

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That was me on Thanksgiving. I got to listen to my step uncle(step grandma's son) talk about how it's bad to have only one child and have him ask me "what are you waiting for?" to have a second child. I just stared at him.
I'd say you handled that well. Any reaction just encourages people. I guess we show our thankfulness by tolerating people who are intolerable.


My wife texted asking me if I was sitting down, and I knew what was coming next.


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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Struggling

I chickened out on telling my mom and keep doing that, for the few times I've seen her. I think she has some idea that something is going on though because she suddenly stopped talking about my cousin who is pregnant with the due date in May(like mine was). I just haven't had the courage to bring anything up and don't know how to.

I sometimes check the 'birth board' on another website for when my son was born and mentioned on there about how we've been struggling to have a second baby. We're on month 8 and no viable pregnancy. Most were supportive, but then of course I get the comment of how I do have one child and should just be grateful that I could have a child at all. I of course feel grateful to have my son, but I still want another child and don't feel like our family is complete. Pretty much everyone I know who has kids around my son's age are either knocked up or have a newborn baby. I feel like I'm surrounded by pregnant women and while I'm happy for them, the jealousy/guilt/grief/depression is difficult to deal with. I can't even watch the news without seeing so many women who are pregnant(meteorologist is pregnant, newscaster for traffic report is pregnant, etc.). Ugh. My son has been running around the house today with a baby doll and feeding the baby with a fake baby bottle. That sure does not help with me wanting another little one.
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 07:16 PM
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Re: Struggling

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I chickened out on telling my mom and keep doing that, for the few times I've seen her. I think she has some idea that something is going on though because she suddenly stopped talking about my cousin who is pregnant with the due date in May(like mine was). I just haven't had the courage to bring anything up and don't know how to.

I sometimes check the 'birth board' on another website for when my son was born and mentioned on there about how we've been struggling to have a second baby. We're on month 8 and no viable pregnancy. Most were supportive, but then of course I get the comment of how I do have one child and should just be grateful that I could have a child at all. I of course feel grateful to have my son, but I still want another child and don't feel like our family is complete. Pretty much everyone I know who has kids around my son's age are either knocked up or have a newborn baby. I feel like I'm surrounded by pregnant women and while I'm happy for them, the jealousy/guilt/grief/depression is difficult to deal with. I can't even watch the news without seeing so many women who are pregnant(meteorologist is pregnant, newscaster for traffic report is pregnant, etc.). Ugh. My son has been running around the house today with a baby doll and feeding the baby with a fake baby bottle. That sure does not help with me wanting another little one.
Nobody should ever tell you how to feel. I do hope you can get an extra hug from your son when you need it.

Don't give up.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-08-2015, 07:24 PM
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Re: Struggling

Sorry to hear that. Good luck to you and your family my heart reaches out to you.
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-14-2015, 09:54 PM
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Re: Struggling

Do tell, why is it necessary to tell your mother, or anyone for that matter? Why is telling people required?

"The problem with unproductive people, is that they tend to be the most reproductive people." - Unknown

"If you can't kill then you will always be subject to those who can." - Ender Wiggin
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 02:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Struggling

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Do tell, why is it necessary to tell your mother, or anyone for that matter? Why is telling people required?
It's not required, but it was very hard to deal with alone and I felt better after I told my mom on Dec. 12th. I was tired of being told about my cousin's pregnancy who is due one week before my due date was and being asked when we'll have another baby. This way things are now clear and I get more support. I will always miss that little baby.
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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Struggling

Well, I ended up telling my mom on Dec. 12th and it went better than I expected. I know my mom has not experienced a loss, but she has been really great and surprisingly hasn't said anything insensitive. Sometimes she talks without thinking and says some really bad things. She said she thought something was going on with me, but didn't want to intrude by asking. I am glad I told someone, as it was tough to deal with. I think about that little baby I lost a lot and feel some more closure as time goes on. It's still hard to watch my cousin go on with her pregnancy, knowing I should be there too, but I think I'm doing ok.

I kept teasing my husband, for the past couple weeks, that all I want for Christmas is to be pregnant and I found out yesterday that I got my wish. I'm due at the end of August with another little one and we're both thrilled!
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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 05:11 PM
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Re: Struggling

Congrats! I knew you'd get your rainbow baby.
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My wife texted asking me if I was sitting down, and I knew what was coming next.


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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 12-23-2015, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Struggling

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Congrats! I knew you'd get your rainbow baby.
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Thank you! We're super excited, but also really nervous since I'm only 4 weeks along.
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