My GF's (Soon to be Ex) Killed Himself, Advice? - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #91 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-15-2017, 11:13 PM
Join Date: Jun 2016
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Re: My GF's (Soon to be Ex) Killed Himself, Advice?

Originally Posted by TeesJeep1 View Post
Not even sure how to grasp the situation. Can not believe people could even think this way. After all I have been through I truly feel numb.
Read the post i wrote again, the one you that thanked me for my perspective. My perspective was right. She has huge character issues. I will be right again about how your future will be if you continue down this road. Look man I am not clairvoyant. This is how life works, just the same as gravity, if you attach your life to a serial cheater you are going to have a lousy life. People who cheat over and over are not capable of being in a monogamous relationship. Or really any true relationships. Don't end up like her ex destroyed by her damage.

Emotionally she is very much like to a mentally retarded person. Just like you can't expect someone who has mental retardation to run a business. You cannot expect an emotionally retarded person to have a successful relationship. She doesn't have the emotional capacity to do it.

Now on to you? Why are you treating this woman like she is the last woman on earth? She isn't even a very nice woman. She cheats on almost everyone she is with? Seriously is there something in your past or are you so insecure that you think this is the only woman who will be interested in you? I guarantee you this will not be the case, but you need to learn how to demand more from life. Honestly you would be better off without her even if she was the only woman interested in you. There is no hope for happiness with her.

Finally I am going to tell you one more thing, and it is very important. I have been reading these sites for a while now. There is one type of man that you see over and over. He is the kind whose wife treats him incredibly poorly. Bullies him and has no respect for him. Cheats on him over and over, flaunts it in his face, yet he continues to stay. At first I felt so bad for these guys, but then I kept seeing the pattern. They always stay.

That is when I figured it out. These women seek out these "weak" men. The women cheaters are like parasites and the men are their hosts. Like the school yard bully seeks the weakest to pick on all because they know the weak kid won't stand up for themselves. This is what is going on with this relationship dynamic I am describing, this is why you see them over and over. It's no fluke, it is a calculated thing. The woman knows she is going to cheat so she is just looking for the "nice guy" to have her kids with and pay for her lifestyle, and she will have her dalliances on the side. The weaker the better.

Now I am not saying it's you. But I think it is your girl, and she is seeing a strong target in you. You may have the potential to be this type of man. I don't mean to insult you but you are on this board and everyone, men and women has told you she is bad news, and to run. She has repeatedly cheated and she just did it to you, after her ex killed himself no less (probably contributed to by her abuse of him). What are doing man? Is there anything she could do that would make you stop pursuing her, because right now the bar can't get any lower.

I call them emotional vampires, and just like a vampire this girl has got you in her spell. Better get the garlic before it's too late.

Break up with this woman, ghost her and then write another post about how to get over someone. We will all help you through that. It is hard at first but we are talking a few weeks to months. Not lifetimes.

Last edited by sokillme; 01-15-2017 at 11:21 PM.
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post #92 of 92 (permalink) Old 01-16-2017, 12:07 AM
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Re: My GF's (Soon to be Ex) Killed Himself, Advice?

Originally Posted by TeesJeep1 View Post
So after another month she has found herself wanting a child from me and in that same day, in the evening, cheating on me. She said she felt confused and I said what she did was a huge disappointment to me. It's been a few weeks since that happened and I am not even sure what to feel anymore.
Hi, TJ

Sorry you have found yourself in this situation already. Your main priorities are to your wonderful daughters and yourself.

Your girls need to see you with a woman whose flaws don't include any bad treatment they would see, like cheating or other disturbing behaviors. She doesn't sound balanced. You are a big role model and your girls will be picking men someday. Would you set the bar high for them?

And you, YOU should know you deserve that for yourself. If you are still in therapy, bring that up ( individual therapy), and work on your self esteem. You can't fix others. It's up to you.

Take care, and maybe stick around so the forum can help you a bit more. There is an infidelity forum on this site. We can see you're hurting. Whatever you choose, get some help, and continue to be a great father!
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