katie1234

I have been with my husband for about 4 years and married for 3, i am still only very young and he is 6 years older than me. 4 weeks ago he started to get weird towards me and started being cruel. A week later he told me that he wants a couple of weeks to get his head together about whether he wants to be with me anymore so he went to stay with his sister. The last 3 weeks have been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions for me, i cant sleep properly, ive lost about 4 kilos and i feel like i cant think straight with all the "what if" thoughts and emotions. In the last 3 weeks he's turned completely cold towards me when we used to have quite a loving relationship. We had our problems which im willing to work through because i love him to death. Ive never been with anyone else and i couldnt bear the thought of us being apart. Ive let him know that i will do anything in my power to make this relationship work but he just tells me that he doesnt want to put himself back in the situation incase it goes back to the way it was. Ive done everything i can to get him home. Ive gone to see him and he shuts me out, ive taken him over his favourite dinner, i send him txt messages. I just need some advice on what is the best thing i can do to save this marriage and cope with these emotions.

DB in PA

I am sorry for you...I am hurt too and understand
1. Get him to explain "how it used to be" what is it he did not like?? Ask him to go to a counsler to talk about it if he can't one on one.
2. gET SOME SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF. i HAVE BEEN GOING IT ALONE, AND HAVE FOUND THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU SICK.. fIND THAT ONE FRIEND THAT YOU CAN TRUST NOT TO GOSSIP ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.. Don't try to do this alone
3. keep yourself busy with things you have always wanted to do. Do something for ypourself. get a massage, go to the gym. shopping, go visit family. Family is a great support tool that you need right now.

Best of luck to you.

justean

sorry , but we dont just start acting weird for a reason.
there is something behind this and its not you thats the cause of it.
my ex said the same thing, i need to get my head together, next thing he was having an affair.

emadams18

My husband did and is doing the same thing. We were having some problems so we separated. And I was working as hard as I could to show him that things could be better, happy, and good. But he kept saying he was so afraid things would go back to the way things were. Did he ever have a drug or alcohal problem? Or is he using at all now? My husband is a recovering addict. he's not using any of the substance anymore but he has fallen back into the pattern of addictive behavior. If it isn't that then yes there is a reason for why he's doing this. Maybe suggest counseling to him to help him clear his head and better figure out what he wants. Have you suggested marriage counseling? These can help him and marriage counseling can help you as well.

Rhea

My husband did the same thing, just up and said it's not going to work. Moved out, got his own apt, it's been 5 months of back and forth. I love you but I'm not in love with you. There's no one else there's someone else. My husband deals w/severe depression and on top of that has had alcohol and drug problems in his past. He's in personal therapy and taking meds but refuses any type of counseling when it comes to us and our marriage. He just flat says I know it's not going to work which confuses me because he tells me we had everything and I did nothing wrong. So I'm killing myself trying to figure out why if he blames himself he won't do anything about it... We had a good relationship before considering his what I call "in and outs" due to him thinking he could handle his depression by himself. It is the most painful thing I've ever been through, see if he will go to counseling I wish you the best of luck I wish my H would have a break through I keep praying but it doesn't seem to be working...I hope your situation turns out better my thoughts and prayers are with as I continue to keep the faith on my end as well.