My family are not religious but I found it helpful to believe in an afterlife first and that death is a part of life....... I still have some bad days but ........
life goes on and it will be beautiful again.
Two things - love yourself and no guilt!
Find a way to listen to and express your true feelings and thoughts safely
- all of them - even the bad ones. Letters to yourself, lists, chat sites, friends, clubs etc = loving yourself and allowing yourself to exist. See how great you are - all of you!
Are you feeling guilt for not being
'in love' with your husband (ie not expressing your true self/ showing how wonderful you are at all times) and believing thus that you caused his affair?
He is - like you responsible for his own actions. If he had any respect/love for himself and
had loved you he would have found an effective way to communicate to you his needs and wouldn't have stopped until he had done so - WITHOUT hurting you.
I am sorry for his and your loss. You both had the illusion of love.
Now you have the opportunity to truely find AND EXPRESS YOURSELF and someone WILL find you that will love you - no matter what size you are or how you look or who is in town.