Received very bad news this morning! - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #1 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 09:32 AM Thread Starter
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Received very bad news this morning!

I got a call earlier this morning that my brother's wife suffered a heart attack and stroke and is currently in an induced coma, and I plan on going to go over the hospital(50 miles away)sometime this evening after work.

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post #2 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 09:43 AM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Oh my goodness! My thoughts and prayers are with you and you family!! I hope she makes a full recovery! ((HUGS))
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post #3 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:49 AM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

I am sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself, be calm and centered, and take advantage of all of the supports that are offered by the hospital. The hospital cafeterias usually have some very healthy menu options for visitors, and there is often coffee, support services, and a place to nap in ICU waiting rooms. Even if you don't need these for yourself, helping your brother to find and use all of these supports and to incorporate them into his daily routine (as it will evolve) will be a big help to him, and ultimately, to his wife. Establishing a routine and a way of being in the hospital for those who are not patients is often an overlooked but necessary and very helpful task. Even giving him a backpack to use with essentials in it like bottled water, some kind of sleep aid, packaged snacks, a notepad and writing implements, and a change of clothes to sleep in (i.e. flannel pants and a soft tee shirt) can make a world of difference. I also found putting a journal and a pen in the patient room to write down information and to keep track of progress and visitors was a big help. And later on it can serve to help your s.i.l. catch up with lost time and to fill in the blanks. Please remind your brother that even in a coma, it's likely his wife can hear or feel his presence, so encourage him to hand hold and cuddle up with her...nurses can teach him to watch her vitals to gauge how much contact she can tolerate or is helpful... Sending prayers and stay calm vibes.
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post #4 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:52 AM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Such wonderful and thoughtful advice!
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post #5 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 07:36 PM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Sorry to hear this Cee Paul. I've had the same exact thing (heart attack-induced coma) situation happen to an uncle of mine in February. He spent 3 days hooked to a ventilator after an emergency procedure.He didn't make it unfortunately

I hope your brother's wife has more luck than my uncle. I loved that guy

Keep yourself strong because your brother is going to need you.
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post #6 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 10:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

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Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno View Post
I am sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself, be calm and centered, and take advantage of all of the supports that are offered by the hospital. The hospital cafeterias usually have some very healthy menu options for visitors, and there is often coffee, support services, and a place to nap in ICU waiting rooms. Even if you don't need these for yourself, helping your brother to find and use all of these supports and to incorporate them into his daily routine (as it will evolve) will be a big help to him, and ultimately, to his wife. Establishing a routine and a way of being in the hospital for those who are not patients is often an overlooked but necessary and very helpful task. Even giving him a backpack to use with essentials in it like bottled water, some kind of sleep aid, packaged snacks, a notepad and writing implements, and a change of clothes to sleep in (i.e. flannel pants and a soft tee shirt) can make a world of difference. I also found putting a journal and a pen in the patient room to write down information and to keep track of progress and visitors was a big help. And later on it can serve to help your s.i.l. catch up with lost time and to fill in the blanks. Please remind your brother that even in a coma, it's likely his wife can hear or feel his presence, so encourage him to hand hold and cuddle up with her...nurses can teach him to watch her vitals to gauge how much contact she can tolerate or is helpful... Sending prayers and stay calm vibes.
I appreciate all your helpful advice; but not only have I visited various hospitals many many many times but have had to stay in one as well on two occasions(for minor surgeries), and I also work in a medical lab and have to make runs to the one across the street from us.......but thanks anyway.

And as far as my brother's wife it's not looking good and she is now on life support.
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post #7 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:00 PM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!


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post #8 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:01 PM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Prayers for the family...
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post #9 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:04 PM
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I appreciate all your helpful advice; but not only have I visited various hospitals many many many times but have had to stay in one as well on two occasions(for minor surgeries), and I also work in a medical lab and have to make runs to the one across the street from us.......but thanks anyway.

And as far as my brother's wife it's not looking good and she is now on life support.
How old is she? Wishing your family the best!
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post #10 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:29 PM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Sorry to see this happened to your sister in law Cee Paul.Saying a prayer for her and you all.


"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis
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post #11 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-07-2012, 11:37 PM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

I'm sure your bro will dig you making the treak...your a good dude.
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post #12 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 12:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

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How old is she? Wishing your family the best!
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She is 61 I believe and my older brother is 58.
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post #13 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 10:36 AM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Within a few days (2-3 days) the doctors will make an evaluation of cerebral activity to access possible brain damage. Be around your brother at that time. It was a very hard time for my family.

Best of luck Cee Paul.
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post #14 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

I actually took today off and will be heading over to the hospital in awhile, but unfortuneatly with my brother living 50 miles away and me having a weird work schedule I can't just "be there" all the time for him.
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post #15 of 54 (permalink) Old 08-09-2012, 12:01 AM
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Re: Received very bad news this morning!

Still have you and your family in my thoughts... I really hope she pulls through this!!!!
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