Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Re: My MIL
KnK, my mother passed away at age 51, due to complications from kidney failure. My mother had a rough 10 years of dealing with this failure, so it was expected that she would not live to an old age and it was great to see her not suffer anymore. AND I know exactly where she is, so that brought the greatest comfort in the world to me. But, the only family I have had is my mother and older brother. My dad took off when I was young and I did not see him for 13 years and even then, it was a very shallow relationship. So, loosing my mom was the hardest thing for me to ever go through.
I really did not get to say goodbye to my mother or get to hear her say her last words to me of encouragement and advice for the future. Lets see, my wife was there for me as much as possible, without many words. She just loved on me and was very sympathetic. I understand that we all deal with loss in our own way. I think your husband is in denial and wants to try and forget his mother, but deep down, this is not possible and is the reason why he is moody and critical. Don't take anything personal, because it is not directed at you. And I would venture to say that your husband is really mad at himself for how his relationship with his mother ended. That is a huge weight for anyone to live with, even if the relationship was rocky (as with the case of your husband's mother).
Show your husband extra love and encouragement. Be there for him, if she desire to talk with you, but don't force him to get anything off his chest and don't nag him about it...very very bad. Nagging is always bad by a wife!
Time heals all wounds! This is just going to take time for your husband's sorrow to heal...maybe a good year. Don't rush him at all. I will be praying for the two of you.