wife's dad died, now she's having an affair with older men
My wife and I have been married 7 years. While I was away on a business trip, her dad passed away. I flew back, but she said she wanted to be alone to grieve. I stayed for a week and went back. I know that I should have stayed longer. I wanted to stay longer, but she insisted that I go.
While I was gone, she started seeing not 1, but 2 older men. She says that she doesn't love me any more and that I haven't been enough of a provider. These older men can take care of her and give her the things that she wants.
She was never like this before. I know that we were really in love once. She is seeing a psychiatrist, but refuses to see a marriage counselor. She's convinced that it's over between us. She even wants to pay off my students loans with the inheritance money, which I refuse.
I still love her. I know that the past few years, I've been down on myself - not able to find a good paying job. And I haven't made her feel special like I used to. She wants me out of the house, but I can't just leave her. Not like I did after her dad died. It's been about 6 months since he died and I know that all of this stems from that. She says she's not the same person anymore, that the person she was is gone and the new person can't love me.
So what do I do? I am basically sticking around, waiting for her to snap out of it, trying hard not to make her snap out of it, because I know that won't work. I feel like she's expecting me to do something, but all I can do is break down and tell her that I still love her, that I should have tried harder. I told her that I've forgiven her for the affairs, although she intends to continue them. I told her that no one will make her happy like I did and will again someday. I told her that there's no shame in telling me that she loves me again.