Should I feel bad/guilty?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Dealing with Grief and Loss » Should I feel bad/guilty?

Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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Old 11-19-2012, 05:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
RandomDude's Avatar
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Default Should I feel bad/guilty?

Since seperation I've noticed that I'm dealing with this alot better than my STBX, however, her playing "emotional catch-up" (brilliant term to coin it, thanks btw), has made feel a bit guilty about all this.

Is this guilt healthy? Or should I block it out? It took me a while to deal with the shock at first, as well as changing my routine since now I have an empty household. I'm heading for a drive soon, pick up the new Hitman game to get my mind off things. I cope by trying to make myself smile again, letting nothing keep me down, but at the same time with how the STBX is acting, I almost feel guilty about living life and trying to keep myself off depression.

I am no longer an alcoholic and I guess I'm now addicted to having a clear head to work through things, but I know that if my STBX sees me smiling then it's just going to make her feel more like sh-t, and I don't want that. So... should I feel guilty?

This is my coping mechanism, does this make me heartless?
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I feel bad/guilty?

Sorry to hear you guys are separated. Are you living together? Getting a divorce?

There is nothing wrong with filling up your time with things you enjoy. Everyone cops differently. But, Random, be advised, it is probably going to catch up w/ you sooner or later--the grief, that is. You may feel fine one second and later it will hit you like at on of bricks. It's normal.
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Old 11-20-2012, 05:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I feel bad/guilty?

Nope, we've seperated and co-parenting now, and we have to wait a full year b4 divorce - AUS law

As for the grief... guess that's another reason I'm trying to stick to business-only talk with my STBX and avoiding her as much as I can. Thanks though, it's good to know I'm still sane... sort of
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