*Death* - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

User Tag List

 16Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 01:31 AM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,041
Re: *Death*

Jail was fine for me, maybe it's different in Australia I don't know - it was for petty crime though so it's not like I was in maximum security or something heh. There were some fkwits but it's just how it is, most just wanted to get through day to day and do their time, fights normally break out over drugs then anything else, but I've never even seen or heard of a shower rape.

Of course I've seen some bad stuff, like folks who were accused of having drugs by other inmates which resulted in fights/harassment. As long as you stayed away from that when the jail goes through a drought with the drugs you're pretty much fine as long as you can hold your own and make friends - sometimes by having fights.

My experience ironically contributes to why I believe in the death penalty. Taxpayers were pretty much paying for my rent and food for a time. Wasn't long really, I had a reduced sentence as I turned myself in all those years ago, had my reasons.


Last edited by RandomDude; 01-20-2013 at 01:43 AM.
RandomDude is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 2,528
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Jail was fine for me, maybe it's different in Australia I don't know - it was for petty crime though so it's not like I was in maximum security or something heh. There were some fkwits but it's just how it is, most just wanted to get through day to day and do their time, fights normally break out over drugs then anything else, but I've never even seen or heard of a shower rape.

Of course I've seen some bad stuff, like folks who were accused of having drugs by other inmates which resulted in fights/harassment. As long as you stayed away from that when the jail goes through a drought with the drugs you're pretty much fine as long as you can hold your own and make friends - sometimes by having fights.

My experience ironically contributes to why I believe in the death penalty. Taxpayers were pretty much paying for my rent and food for a time. Wasn't long really, I had a reduced sentence as I turned myself in all those years ago, had my reasons.
So would you rather be in there; or out FREE and able to eat a good meal when you want to, sleep in a comfortable bed, go to the movies, go to the beach all day, and have sex with your lady instead of whacking it in a community shower with 10 other dudes around watching?
Cee Paul is offline  
post #18 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 05:43 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,041
Re: *Death*

LOL of course it's better to be out. Though at times I did want to go back in because life was very simple, funny really. Just saying it's not that bad as what people think
RandomDude is online now  
 
post #19 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 2,528
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
LOL of course it's better to be out. Though at times I did want to go back in because life was very simple, funny really. Just saying it's not that bad as what people think
If this is truely your line of thinking then chances are you will be in and out of there the rest of your life - so have fun with that.
Cee Paul is offline  
post #20 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 06:48 PM
Member
 
RandomDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,041
Re: *Death*

Nah, got a family to take care of, so I can't afford to be lazy and go back to jail living off taxpayer money nowadays lol
RandomDude is online now  
post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 08:58 PM
Forum Supporter
 
arbitrator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Central Texas/Brazos Valley
Posts: 11,511
Re: *Death*

I got a wake-up call in 1998 when a routine stress test revealed that I had 4 arteries with 85% blockage or better~ required a quad bypass. Nothing I was eating; cholestoral was fine; found to be from hereditary factors.

Up until I was a college kid, when I accepted Christ as Savior, I was literally so fearful of everything including death. Since that time, I have had absolutely great spiritual security.

Now STBXW would probably love it if I kicked the bucket because it would fastly terminate the current divorce proceedings and she'd receive whatever material posessions I left behind.

I still fear a few intrinsic things like my son's well-being and their success in life, but death just ain't one of them!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
arbitrator is offline  
post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 09:28 PM
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 13,989
Re: *Death*

Since my XW left me, there were many nights I prayed for death and it never came. I begged for it. I did not fear it because I trust in God my Saviour. He never brought it. I have had my faith shaken. I do not know what to think. Sometimes I feel abandoned. Fear death? I don't think so. Fear the pain of death? Some. Fear the afterlife? No. I know I am saved. I just want something more than what I have. Right now, life is no picnic.

Edit: I don't know yet how to proceed from here.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
2ntnuf is offline  
post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-20-2013, 11:33 PM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 2,528
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Since my XW left me, there were many nights I prayed for death and it never came. I begged for it. I did not fear it because I trust in God my Saviour. He never brought it. I have had my faith shaken. I do not know what to think. Sometimes I feel abandoned. Fear death? I don't think so. Fear the pain of death? Some. Fear the afterlife? No. I know I am saved. I just want something more than what I have. Right now, life is no picnic.

Edit: I don't know yet how to proceed from here.
Don't get me wrong I too believe in God and Jesus Christ 100% and was baptised in his name a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I am ready to say goodbye to my loved ones HERE and transform into a different life form and change my name and all of that.
Cee Paul is offline  
post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2013, 08:33 AM
Member
 
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,890
*Death*

I have to say the love from my children and husband keep me going.

I do my best to stay out of depression. I keep myself busy with hobbies and things I really enjoy. I am always trying to improve myself as a wife, cook and mother.

Most people do not understand what it's truly like to live in severe physical pain 24/7 every second of the day unless they live it themselves. I do not talk about it at home since its been going on for years and people get tired of hearing it. I do not have a support group anymore with others in my own shoes. Even people on here get sick of me talking about pain and daily life. However, I need an outlet. I do need to talk about it once in a while. I need to talk about my accomplishments since I work very hard at them.

It's quite embarrassing to be pushed around in a wheelchair in public when you "look" normal. I get harassed by strangers for parking in handicap parking. The stress of other family members who do not support you is awful. I get called names from my own parents and their side of the family. They tell me I'm lazy(I can't hold my head up longer then an hour or two without support or resting). They are always belittling me constantly because they think I should be fixed since I had one surgery.

When the pain is unbearable for days/weeks or even months I do think about what it would be like if I just ended it all. I don't want to live like this. My husband didn't sign up for a disabled wife. I use to be very active and athletic. I will never be able to run again and it kills me. I use to run 36 miles a week at minimum.

I'm not afraid of death. I sometimes look forward to it. I'm not ever going to take my own life, that would destroy my children and my husband. It took me 3 years to accept this is the way life is going to be and it will not get any better.

Since my body is in constant pain, I'm more susceptible to other health issues. It's like my body has given up fighting this physical pain. When I had my kidney infections and bladder infections, it takes me months to recover.

Anyways, I needed to get this off my chest. Having neck spinal damage also results in chronic migraines. I do apologize if anyone gets tired of me talking about it. My husband doesn't need to hear about it, I don't like complaining to him. He has enough stress already with helping me and his meeting his deadlines though his jobs.
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby is offline  
post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2013, 09:18 AM
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 13,989
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cee Paul View Post
Don't get me wrong I too believe in God and Jesus Christ 100% and was baptised in his name a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I am ready to say goodbye to my loved ones HERE and transform into a different life form and change my name and all of that.
Although I am not planning to do anything or planning on going anywhere, I really have no loved ones. They have abandoned me as my XW did. I am trying to decide what it's all about now. Why am I here if not to love, share and enjoy life?

Right now, there is not much to enjoy. I have had these struggles off and on my whole life. I am tired. I look for direction. I look for something to succeed at so that I can find a will to live life the way we are meant, "to the fullest".

I lost that will when I realized what my beloved wife had done and what she believed about me, the ones which pushed her to her decision, were mostly untrue. I don't want to prove or disprove anything. I know that I am never going to have what I truly desired.

I have, all my life(puts index finger and thumb together), been this close to achieving my goals. I have tried again and again and again, improving my skills and educating myself. I have failed and believe it is due to God's desire. I will achieve only what He enables me to achieve. If He does not want me to achieve my goals, I will not.

I am looking at different ways of thinking of God. He will not represent Himself in my life. Being that He is love, omnicient and omnipotent, I can only blame my lack of understanding for the position I am in. I can only understand what He wants from me by reading the bible.

I need to find out why I should try to live the fullest life possible rather than just exist. I have not found that. I am starting to have desires. I am afraid they will end like the rest of my desires and goals, i.e.: when I love them, I lose them.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
2ntnuf is offline  
post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-21-2013, 11:33 PM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 2,528
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Although I am not planning to do anything or planning on going anywhere, I really have no loved ones. They have abandoned me as my XW did. I am trying to decide what it's all about now. Why am I here if not to love, share and enjoy life?

Right now, there is not much to enjoy. I have had these struggles off and on my whole life. I am tired. I look for direction. I look for something to succeed at so that I can find a will to live life the way we are meant, "to the fullest".

I lost that will when I realized what my beloved wife had done and what she believed about me, the ones which pushed her to her decision, were mostly untrue. I don't want to prove or disprove anything. I know that I am never going to have what I truly desired.

I have, all my life(puts index finger and thumb together), been this close to achieving my goals. I have tried again and again and again, improving my skills and educating myself. I have failed and believe it is due to God's desire. I will achieve only what He enables me to achieve. If He does not want me to achieve my goals, I will not.

I am looking at different ways of thinking of God. He will not represent Himself in my life. Being that He is love, omnicient and omnipotent, I can only blame my lack of understanding for the position I am in. I can only understand what He wants from me by reading the bible.

I need to find out why I should try to live the fullest life possible rather than just exist. I have not found that. I am starting to have desires. I am afraid they will end like the rest of my desires and goals, i.e.: when I love them, I lose them.
I am fully convinced that although God loves us and always knows what we're doing that we're on our own down here, and that means taking the good with the bad and getting by the best that you can while remaining faithful to him. In my opinion his rewards take place in the afterlife and not while we are here on earth, and that WE create our own blessings and curses during the course of our lives. That theory comes from everything I have seen - heard - read - and experienced in my nearly 47 years alive.
Cee Paul is offline  
post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-22-2013, 03:02 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 579
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cee Paul View Post
This might get a little deep and maybe even a little scary but has anyone ever REALLY sat down and thought about your own death in detail, and how incredibly weird the whole transformation from body to spirit will be in moving on? It is going to be like nothing you have ever seen - heard - or felt in your entire life, and nothing here compares to it I'm quite sure and it gives me double goose bumps to think about how it will all go down when it's my time.

*And for those who don't believe in the afterlife or in moving on just disregard this thread, because all you have to ever worry about is keeping alive here because after that you got - nothing*
Atheist here, but dad died and came back. He was out for a few minutes. He said it was very peaceful and that he saw god. Me? I just figure its like going to sleep and never waking up.

http://kipanixo.com My personal website. Blog and Store.
kipani is offline  
post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-23-2013, 12:03 AM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 2,528
Re: *Death*

Quote:
Originally Posted by kipani View Post
Atheist here, but dad died and came back. He was out for a few minutes. He said it was very peaceful and that he saw god. Me? I just figure its like going to sleep and never waking up.
But let's say it's NOT like that Kipani and there is a lot more ahead; should you be allowed to gather in a heavenly place with God the same as those who had faith and did believe in him, or should you get a seperate deal where you aren't rewarded anything in the afterlife?
Cee Paul is offline  
post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-24-2013, 12:18 PM
Member
 
Shoto1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Fla
Posts: 2,978
Re: *Death*

Life and death are both very surreal things to really dwell on. Our experience of life is unique to each one of us and we only experience it the way we do because of the way we are wired. Our experience of death we can only imagine. We see people writhing in pain or maybe know of someone who went to sleep one night and never woke up. Most hope for the later but we can't know what if really feels like to die. As for an afterlife, we can only know what we have been told or read. Freud would say the idea of an afterlife is our ego talking in that we are our consciousness and have no way of creating a reality that does not include ourselves. (I'm taking liberty with that last bit for any Freud scholars out there).

As for the reward/punishment idea of heaven it seems to challenge the concept of God to assign these things.
Shoto1984 is offline  
post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 01-24-2013, 07:47 PM
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 13,901
Re: *Death*

I don't fear death but I do fear the suffering before Death (A Cancer diagnosis, chronic pain, our bodies slowly failing before our eyes etc)... or dying young, how this would affect my family, or my husband dying too soon.

I feel the best way to go is dying in one's sleep/ a fatal heart attack ...when we're old, as if we have a choice (I so wish!)...I don't want to end up in a cold nursing home for yrs with dementia/ not knowing who I am, or who my kids are.

I don't think I would make a pleasant patient in need either... I think I would be grouchy & miserable to be around, I like to do for myself, this would cause me great frustration.

Reading I'mInLoveWithMyHubby's story - she's amazing... God Bless her... such things are so not fair in this life.. how our perfect bodies can meet tragedy in the blink of an eye .... Especially to one who was a marathon runner yet & jumped out of airplanes !!

But yet...it shows we can RISE above any circumstance ...making peace with it...finding our way back to happiness.
This is inspiring.
SimplyAmorous is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Death ScaredandUnsure The Social Spot 11 06-22-2012 06:17 PM
Rollercoaster of Death! Unendinglove Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 06-03-2012 09:58 AM
My mother's death candiceh Dealing with Grief and Loss 3 01-18-2012 11:19 AM
When it's Death and Not Divorce... katharina Dealing with Grief and Loss 23 01-05-2012 12:43 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome