How do you keep surviving this?
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Dealing with Grief and Loss » How do you keep surviving this?

Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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Old 08-06-2009, 09:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How do you keep surviving this?

Okay....for me...this is my second divorce. Not only does it feel like I failed...and am completely unworthy of love...but it feels worse than the first time.

I can't imagine how I can ever move on. He says I need to move on....and he knows i hate him for this...but he is so wrong. I don't hate him....I want to say....(ugly word) you, but it isn't out of hate. I love him. I am rolling along on the ups and downs of the stages of grief. Right now i am stuck.....I think I am somewhere between anger and acceptance.....but it feels like I am unable to get a bearing.....which way do I go?

I hate this kind of thing. Why doesn't it kill him like it is me?

I dont' know how to keep dealing with this? Need some help here.....how do you do this over and over and survive it?
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Old 08-07-2009, 06:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep surviving this?

My second ex called me on a Sunday and told me I needed to move out...I moved out on Monday. While I was moving she was meeting up with a guy she met on the internet...I was out by Monday night. He was in Tuesday...that was in July and they were married in November.

I met someone and was married again in December...and I've never been happier. It took 40 years for me to be able to find someone, I never gave up...never felt down...everything happens for a reason. I've been disparaged, accused, libeled, slandered, threatened and lord only knows what else that I don't know about coming from the second divorce.

You have to just understand that if it's not meant to be...then let it go. It hurts, it sucks, you question yourself and all the why's and how's...and that's normal. How you bring yourself out of it is more important...

Learn, be more patient and sure the next time...there will be a next time...

Preacher
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Old 08-29-2009, 08:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep surviving this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeniseK View Post
Okay....for me...this is my second divorce. Not only does it feel like I failed...and am completely unworthy of love...but it feels worse than the first time.

I can't imagine how I can ever move on.
?
It is easier to move on if you can learn something from your mistakes... without doing that, moving on is very hard and from what I can tell it means your bound to repeat the same mistakes.


Far as not giving up....
what I did was get far pickier about who I got involved with. Seems I was dating guys who were not good enough for me
( dumping people and getting them out of your life for good is somewhat of an art form ), so I focused on being able to get out of relationships and away from men who weren't up to my expectations, which cleared the way for the right guy to find me.

My husband isn't perfect but he is far better than most men. I would say in the top 2% of all men.
So... you are either dating in a way that is not to your advantage or your not learning your lessons.

Last edited by preso; 08-29-2009 at 08:34 PM.
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