Wife changed after father's death
Ok where do I begin! Lets start 12 years ago. Twelve years ago my wife and I were married. I always felt we had a OK marriage. We currently have no kids.
In 2008, we found out that my sis-in-law were having marital problems. They have two kids. We (Wife and I) knew they were having problems in their marriage and prior to thier divorce kindly gave advice to my sis-in-law that divorce is not the answer. Nothing good comes from a divorce. In any case, they filed for divorce. We eventually found out that my sis-in-law was the one who was cheating. My-sis-law and wife relationship is strained probably because we told her the effects that come from divorce. Also, It probably appears from my sis-in-law viewpoint that we have taken he ex-husband side because he was the faithful partner. We don't take sides, but the ex-husband lets my wife talk to her nephews, whereas her sister did not. My sis-in-law has given my wife the cold shoulder. My wife has not spoke to her sister or her nephews in about 3-4 years. My wife is upset about this.
In 2012, I get a call from my wife that her father had a heart attack, but was in stable condition. I left my job immediately to pick up my wife at her place of employment (about 30 mins away). When I got there, my wife was dillydally. She was just finishing up some paperwork. I was like "come on" we need to leave. We procrastinated about 15 minutes then finally left for the hospital (40 mins away). When we finally got to the hospital, the doctor brought us into a room and told us that her father had died. I was shocked and my wife started to ball crying. This was back in July.
Ever since that fateful day, my wife has done a 180. She says that she is a changed women. I asked her "how she's changed?", and she would say "that she isn't putting up with my nonsense anymore." I have know idea what she is talking about, so I ask for examples. First, she says that I was inconsiderate when her father died, because I didn't hold her hand after finding out the death of her father. Second, she says that I yell at her all the time (Not true!), and make her feel unconfortable. Third, she very upset at something that happen 3 years ago when I didn't go with her to her nephew's baseball game. Forth, she says that I had no time for her on her anniversay day (I never said that). Fifth, she is upset that I took strawberrys from the freezer and didn't leave her any breakfast. Sixth, she says that I forced her to go to college (Not true). I feel she is taking everything out on me. I mentioned to her that whatever I did/didn't do, I apologize, but I can't change the past. I said why dont we go to marriage conseling. She doesn't want to go. I feel that she is distancing herself away from me. I feel alone. Im trying hard to do the right thing. Concerning our anniversay I bought her a beautiful ring. I do some laundry. However, I dont know what else to do. She puts her guard up when I go to kiss her. I feel that we are on two different pages. She says she wants to move where her mom is, about 150 miles away. I tell her, we can't. I have a job here and there are no jobs for what I do there, and I am not going to quit my job in one of the hardest economies ever.
We come from strong religious backgrounds, so divorce is not an option unless infidelity is present. I have not committed such. I feel I am a good husband. Yes, Im not perfect, but Im not so deficient either. She says that she changed. She says that since her father died, she is different. She does admit that she has changed. She has a "I dont care" about our relationship attitude. She says that she is damaged emotionally. Could the events within the last couple of years between her sister and dad cause this. What does those events have to do with me? It seems like she is taking it all out on me.