Losing a pet.... - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-21-2013, 06:57 AM
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Re: Losing a pet....

It's awful, man, I know. I had to put one dog down (black Lab mix, at 13 years old) and lost another one (German Shepherd mix, at 12) in an accident.

The second one was harder. I never had pets growing up (my mother had allergies) and always wanted a dog. My wife came to the marriage with the Lab and while it was a good dog and I liked it, it was always "hers," and responded to her first, followed her around the house, etc. We got the Shepherd as a puppy and I really bonded to it hard, so that is the only dog in my life that I really considered mine. So losing that one hurt both me and wife a whole bunch.

You'll be sad for a few days. My wife and I look back fondly on the funny things our dogs did and the happy moments we have. There are still rare moments of sadness but we focus on the good memories and remind ourselves that both dogs were 12+ years old, which is old for big dogs, so they lived very full lives ... and we rescued them both after being abandoned, so they were loved and cared for their whole lives rather than being out in a harsh world. That helps.

And I would not rush into getting new pets right away. You can't really replace Domino; you'd be making new memories with a new pet, and it's not fair to hold a new cat to the standards of the old one.

Best wishes and hope your sadness lifts soon.


She and I are in this together, no matter what happens ... two against the world .....

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-21-2013, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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Originally Posted by Convection View Post
It's awful, man, I know. I had to put one dog down (black Lab mix, at 13 years old) and lost another one (German Shepherd mix, at 12) in an accident.

The second one was harder. I never had pets growing up (my mother had allergies) and always wanted a dog. My wife came to the marriage with the Lab and while it was a good dog and I liked it, it was always "hers," and responded to her first, followed her around the house, etc. We got the Shepherd as a puppy and I really bonded to it hard, so that is the only dog in my life that I really considered mine. So losing that one hurt both me and wife a whole bunch.

You'll be sad for a few days. My wife and I look back fondly on the funny things our dogs did and the happy moments we have. There are still rare moments of sadness but we focus on the good memories and remind ourselves that both dogs were 12+ years old, which is old for big dogs, so they lived very full lives ... and we rescued them both after being abandoned, so they were loved and cared for their whole lives rather than being out in a harsh world. That helps.

And I would not rush into getting new pets right away. You can't really replace Domino; you'd be making new memories with a new pet, and it's not fair to hold a new cat to the standards of the old one.

Best wishes and hope your sadness lifts soon.
Thanks; and no I told my wife that getting a new cat soon or right away would be direspectful to Domino's memory in my opinion, because it would be like saying he was totally replaceable and that we're ready for the next flavor of the month. Maybe in a year or so but certainly not anytime soon, plus we still have the gray one and we love her just as much and she has been acting sad as well(they were together side by side for 10+ years).
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-11-2013, 09:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

For the past week or so the gray one has now started wandering around to the bedrooms and windows and making a howling type of sound she's never ever made before, and we're thinking that maybe she has finally realized that Domino is not at the vet or hiding somewhere and is never coming back. The two of them grew up together since about 1 years old from different litters.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 10:35 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I came into the marriage with my Great Pyrenees Dakota. A very large dog and he was a handful after being raised in the city now moved to the country. My new husband never really had pets and didn't understand that each one is their own little person. He got close to Dakota. But he was 10 and they only live to 12. He wanted to get our 1st dog. We picked out Jeb from the city shelter. He was with us 3 days, he had parvo. It took another year before we were ready to open our hearts to another dog. In the mean time I had to put my cat down from kidney failure but I forced the issue and we immediately got our Tazman. My husbands first cat. We then got another puppy Scottie to raise with the cat and they became fast friends, sleeping together and rough housing all over the place. One night Scottie was missing but Dakota was having an major barking fit and raising the roof. I followed him out to the street but he would go no further (he knew better) I found Scottie in the street. We scoped him up and off to emergency. (yes they had one here open 24hr) He died in my husbands arms right as we pulled in but they tried to help him anyways. It was as if one of our children has passed. 1 week later to the day Dakota laid down and went to sleep.

I brought home Rosie. The month before DDay my husband bought me a Bengal Kitten. She got out of the house 3 months after DDay killed in front of my house and I laid in the street holding her it took several hours before I would release her. Tazman was killed 3 months after that. We still do not have another cat it's been 2 years. Recovery has been harder losing the pets and people right afterwards.
If I had it to do over I would have gone right out and gotten another cat. It will be hard paw prints for another kitten to fill.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2013, 11:30 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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Originally Posted by jupiter13 View Post
I came into the marriage with my Great Pyrenees Dakota. A very large dog and he was a handful after being raised in the city now moved to the country. My new husband never really had pets and didn't understand that each one is their own little person. He got close to Dakota. But he was 10 and they only live to 12. He wanted to get our 1st dog. We picked out Jeb from the city shelter. He was with us 3 days, he had parvo. It took another year before we were ready to open our hearts to another dog. In the mean time I had to put my cat down from kidney failure but I forced the issue and we immediately got our Tazman. My husbands first cat. We then got another puppy Scottie to raise with the cat and they became fast friends, sleeping together and rough housing all over the place. One night Scottie was missing but Dakota was having an major barking fit and raising the roof. I followed him out to the street but he would go no further (he knew better) I found Scottie in the street. We scoped him up and off to emergency. (yes they had one here open 24hr) He died in my husbands arms right as we pulled in but they tried to help him anyways. It was as if one of our children has passed. 1 week later to the day Dakota laid down and went to sleep.

I brought home Rosie. The month before DDay my husband bought me a Bengal Kitten. She got out of the house 3 months after DDay killed in front of my house and I laid in the street holding her it took several hours before I would release her. Tazman was killed 3 months after that. We still do not have another cat it's been 2 years. Recovery has been harder losing the pets and people right afterwards.
If I had it to do over I would have gone right out and gotten another cat. It will be hard paw prints for another kitten to fill.

Sounds like you all are just cursed and have lost like 5 pets in in 5 years, if I were you I would never ever try again unless it was maybe a goldfish.
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-15-2013, 05:00 AM
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Re: Losing a pet....

Yeah I thought about it I forgot to mention Spooky we had to put her down too. At 17 it was her time. Old age and illness took a few here so it really wasn't bad luck it was after many years of loving devotion. As long as I have space in my home I will take an animal in and provide good meal safe place to sleep and loving hands. When you have seen as much abused animals as I have there are no bad dogs. I also have one now that was a drop off about 2 years ago. He has been out in the wild alone he has been hit by a car too I think. He gets a meal with the rest of the dogs, got another dog house he loves but after 8 months he's stayed here we have not touched him. He will take food from our hands but other than that no way. Another one Lucky grew up in the wild out here. Was living off gophers and such wouldn't come near an adult but loved my grand kids. He is now the biggest mushy dog I have ever known. I also just took in a little dog that someone threw out of the car driving by. He's just over a year still a puppy I am so glad I was there to grab him before he got hurt further. I live in the country and have seen cats fly out windows some make it some don't. I have a grave yard and keep threatening to set up a whole area with crosses for these little gals and guys, maybe people driving by will get the message. Wow that got winded. If you can't tell I love animals and work with them as well as volunteer at the shelter. I have never turned one away but some just can't stay so they go straight to the shelter or another foster home I can arrange till evaluated. Many of the dogs that come through here end up at rescues some need to be put down. Many are abused. If you have the space and can provide even for one that is one that has lots of love to give you too.
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-15-2013, 09:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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Originally Posted by jupiter13 View Post
Yeah I thought about it I forgot to mention Spooky we had to put her down too. At 17 it was her time. Old age and illness took a few here so it really wasn't bad luck it was after many years of loving devotion. As long as I have space in my home I will take an animal in and provide good meal safe place to sleep and loving hands. When you have seen as much abused animals as I have there are no bad dogs. I also have one now that was a drop off about 2 years ago. He has been out in the wild alone he has been hit by a car too I think. He gets a meal with the rest of the dogs, got another dog house he loves but after 8 months he's stayed here we have not touched him. He will take food from our hands but other than that no way. Another one Lucky grew up in the wild out here. Was living off gophers and such wouldn't come near an adult but loved my grand kids. He is now the biggest mushy dog I have ever known. I also just took in a little dog that someone threw out of the car driving by. He's just over a year still a puppy I am so glad I was there to grab him before he got hurt further. I live in the country and have seen cats fly out windows some make it some don't. I have a grave yard and keep threatening to set up a whole area with crosses for these little gals and guys, maybe people driving by will get the message. Wow that got winded. If you can't tell I love animals and work with them as well as volunteer at the shelter. I have never turned one away but some just can't stay so they go straight to the shelter or another foster home I can arrange till evaluated. Many of the dogs that come through here end up at rescues some need to be put down. Many are abused. If you have the space and can provide even for one that is one that has lots of love to give you too.
I had a feeling that you weren't just the "average" everyday pet owner with all of those deaths you've endured.
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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-15-2013, 10:59 AM
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Re: Losing a pet....

Thank you I have only one dog that I actually went to the shelter and brought home and that is my Rosie. I love her so much and live each day in constant fear of losing her as I have lost everything else around here.
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