Losing a pet.... - Talk About Marriage
Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-18-2013, 09:48 AM Thread Starter
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Losing a pet....

So I'm sure there are many others on here who have lost a beloved pet either recently or in the past, and this past weekend my wife and I sadly had to go through this ourselves putting down our cat Domino at 12 years old because of ongoing health issues. I am still feeling pretty down of course(it's only been 2 days)so if anyone else has dealt with this please share, and let me know the whole process because I haven't lost a pet since I was in my teens about 30 years ago.


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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-18-2013, 03:01 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I'm very sorry for the loss of your pet.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-18-2013, 10:56 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I lost my dog about 8 years ago to a tumor. He was having trouble breathing and at the time there was no provision for oxygen for pets in my town so I had driven him up to a specialist about 40 miles away. I had to leave him there while they did a bunch of tests on him but I got the call the next day at work that his tumor had thrown off a blood clot and they had him on a ventilator. They told me that he would never recover and would need the ventilator for as long as he lived so I had to tell them to let him go. Tore me up that I wasn't even in the same town when he died. That evening I drove home from work and when I got to the house I sat in the car for about 10 minutes because I didn't want to go in and not get my big greeting. That's what would make it real to me, not having him bouncing around me excited to see me.

2 years later I lost another dog to an immune system disorder (her immune system was attacking her brain.) That was not as hard because I had time to get used to the idea and when she went down in the back end I knew the end was close. Still hurt though. She was only 5 years old. I can still see her in my mind's eye dragging her hindquarters behind her while she hunted lizards.

I only have one dog right now and she's 11 years old. 2 of my last 3 dogs died at 11, same breed. She's in excellent health though, even has palpable abs from digging up the back yard.

I'm all teary eyed writing this.

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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-18-2013, 11:38 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

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Originally Posted by Cee Paul View Post
So I'm sure there are may others on here who have lost a beloved pet either recently or in the past, and this past weekend my wife and I sadly had to go through this ourselves putting down our cat Domino at 12 years old because of ongoing health issues. I am still feeling pretty down of course(it's only been 2 days)so if anyone else has dealt with this please share, and let me know the whole process because I haven't lost a pet since I was in my teens about 30 years ago.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Cee Paul.

When our very, very old dog was dying of cancer, we made the really difficult decision to put her to sleep. It was a two part process. The vet and staff were very kind. The vet gave a sedative first. She seemed to like it. She seemed really relaxed. Her eyes were closed. It looked like she was in a deep sleep. We got to pet her, talk to her, tell her what a good dog she was, and then when we were ready, we told the vet to give the second medication. It was an overdose of an IV anesthetic. Death came very fast. Like maybe within 1 minute of the IV. It was very peaceful. They let us stay a long time with her before we left. She was cremated.

The passage of time helps ease the pain of loss. I think of all the good memories I have of her. I think of all the funny things she'd do. The first few days and the first week were the hardest. It might help to write down all your memories of Domino. I made a digital scrapbook from all the photos I had. And of course I talked the ears off my friends who were willing to listen to me. It's not just an animal. After that many years, your pet is a part of the family.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 12:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

It was hard because our cat was still having good days where he was playful and alert as of a month ago, but then over the past two weeks he began to get very sick and we were told his kidneys were malfunctioning and shutting down slowly. Then last Friday he vomited 3 times and another 3 times Saturday and didn't wanna eat very much(only small doses of dry food), and was waking up crying off and on both nights. So that is when the decision to call in the pet hospice out to the house this past Sunday took place, and then he was quietly and peacefully laid to rest by injections in our home ontop of his favorite blanket with us both at his side petting him.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 01:01 AM
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Re: Losing a pet....

It sounds like you did the kindest thing for Domino. You did something that people can't do for terminally ill people in pain. The kindest final thing you can do for your pet is to give them a painless good bye.

Someone gave this to me after my dog died..I swear it made me bawl.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 09:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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It sounds like you did the kindest thing for Domino. You did something that people can't do for terminally ill people in pain. The kindest final thing you can do for your pet is to give them a painless good bye.

Someone gave this to me after my dog died..I swear it made me bawl.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Ahhh, that is the same thing printed on the inside of his memorial book the pet hospice gave us and we love it, and they put his paw print and a clip of his hair inside it along with his death information(time, date, location, etc).

Here is our beloved Domino back in 2012 who was a very loving and very silly cat that will be missed; and yes he was a big one at 22lbs.

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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 12:43 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cat, Domino. YOu have my condolences.

Back in June '07, I had to put down my sheltie of 10 yrs. It was the most heart wrenching....gut wrenching....decision I had to make. She developed hemolytic anemia ( autoimmune disease) a month prior to her death...and this disease was destroying her blood cells making her very anemic.
For the 10 yrs I had Sassy....my husband and I travelled, camped, hunted and fished with her. She was very close us (I had a strong bond with her...so she was even more closer to me than my husband) that when she died on my lap..I was emotionally devastated. It took me months to overcome my grief for this dog that mean't so much to me.

Six months later I acquired another female sheltie, Mya, who is now with me to this day. (I hate the fact that I'm eventually going to lose her too)
I still miss Sassy, and as I am writing this...tears are streaming down my face and Sassy has been gone for over 6 yrs now.
As they say..."when you love lots....death is that much harder to take".
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 01:15 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I'm so sorry, I know how bad it hurts. I got my last cat when I was 9 and had to put her down when I was 26. I'm 39 now and still not over it.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 01:36 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

He's a beautiful cat, Cee Paul. A big one too! There are dogs smaller than Domino.

You never ever really get over the death. It doesn't sting as much when enough time has passed. Even though I have another dog now, a really rambunctious friendly dog, I still my old dog. I miss our routines. You can't ever replace a beloved pet. But they can always live in your memories.

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 11:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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He's a beautiful cat, Cee Paul. A big one too! There are dogs smaller than Domino.

You never ever really get over the death. It doesn't sting as much when enough time has passed. Even though I have another dog now, a really rambunctious friendly dog, I still my old dog. I miss our routines. You can't ever replace a beloved pet. But they can always live in your memories.
Yeah he was a big one and was a mancoon mix so those are generally very large cats. We have another one who coincindentally is named "Sassy" and she is an African Gray breed(pictured below)that weighs 18lbs, and thankfully she has never had any health issues in her 11 years alive and is doing fine.

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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-20-2013, 12:22 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

What will always blow my mind is how something you were holding and petting just 4 days ago.......no longer exists and is now a pile of ashes(we had him cremated).
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-20-2013, 05:32 AM
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Re: Losing a pet....

Aye, it sucks mate, like losing any loved one

My old cat was an awesome adorable little bully, died of old age. Wasn't ready to have another cat for a while. But wounds heal over time, and now I have a new cat. Cheeky one really, but at least he helps me keep warm in this winter months down under.

Once your ready you'll know
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-20-2013, 09:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a pet....

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Aye, it sucks mate, like losing any loved one

My old cat was an awesome adorable little bully, died of old age. Wasn't ready to have another cat for a while. But wounds heal over time, and now I have a new cat. Cheeky one really, but at least he helps me keep warm in this winter months down under.

Once your ready you'll know
We still have one healthy one who is 11 years old and we'll probably stick with her for now and that's it. But even though my wife says she is "done" with having a kitty after these two, I am not buying that for one minute and in a year or so when she comes across some cute little kitten my guess is she'll cave in. Now we do love dogs too but we do not have a fenced in area and we have a large gator in the lake out back, and if we brought in a house dog our gray cat would tear him/her to shreds and there would be blood shed for sure.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-20-2013, 02:03 PM
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Re: Losing a pet....

I am really very sorry. I lost my two guinea pigs this year, exactly three weeks apart. I had them for years and they meant the world to me. It was devastating. I had always wanted to end their sufferring so that they would be in horrendous pain or alone but I could find no vet to do it for me. That made things 1000x worse. Let yourself cry and mourn. Reach out to other people who have or have had beloved pets. My advice is NOT to reach out to people who OWN pets but dont really love them..I found their comments and such to be very hurtful and disrespectful. Know that the pain will get better. Maybe honor the pet in some way..like planting a tree or framing a photo. For me, it helped to continue remembering them.
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