Why am I starting to feel guilty?
I posted in the Ladies Lounge last week when I first joined that I am recently engaged and have been sharing pieces of "my story" with others in my other posts.
Long story short. I was engaged to my boyfriend of 8 years when I was 23. We met through my brother. We got engaged New Years Eve in 2002 and in September of 2003, he passed away from injuries sustained in a car accident. Its coming up to the 10 year anniversary of his death.
I moved to the USA for grad school for the 2003-2004 year which was a complete write off, instead of completing my studies in 2 years, I took 3.
I had casual dates since that time but no one serious until last year when I met my current Fiance, who is a lot older than me. He is divorced. I was thrilled when I got engaged on July 2nd this year while vacationing in Italy, he is still oversees in Europe for work while I am back home. After visiting my hometown in Canada I feel GUILTY of moving on. My room in the house I grew up in still has pics of my first Fiance and I cannot even look at them without crying. i asked her to pack all of that stuff up, but left one of the best pics of us out.
Why am I feeling guilty after 10 years, we were not married, we were planning a wedding. My current FH is a wonderful man with three beautiful children, but totally opposite from what my first Fiance was. I part of me thinks if my first Fiance would not approve of this relationship. Am I insane and why all of a sudden is my first fiance on my mind 24/7. How can I get over this? I haven't thought of him this much in years! Also a part of me is worried that my current FH will die too. Yikes.
Would love to hear others thoughts regarding this!