What to expect from individual counseling - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-09-2014, 05:33 AM Thread Starter
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What to expect from individual counseling

I am just wondering what I should expect to get out of individual counseling. I've been to 2 sessions so far and I feel like it is mostly a time for me to vent and have those feelings validated. This is nice, but I'm not sure it's really worth the time and money.
A brief background on my situation... I have been having problems in marriage for several years (married 11 years). Basically living as a single mom with a husband who is stressed because he is consumed with work (a very long commute, and a lot of travel out of town) and when home often here in a physical sense only. While I know his work situation doesn't make things easy, many of the the problems I am about to present were there prior to the work situation he is in now. And looking back I was even blind to some of it while dating. He is a very negative person, the "grass is always greener..." type. He is quick to get mad, especially at the kids. The littlest things annoy him. Sometimes will call the kids hurtful names. Sometimes throws temper tantrums when things don't go his way. It's not as bad as some people's stories that I have read on here, but it is enough to suck the fun or happiness out of many days... and has even ruined vacations and special events.
He agreed that his anger is a problem and has started counseling (one session so far). He said that I should go to my own counseling too, because I can be cold and distant sometimes- I told him it's only to avoid his constant negativity and fun-sucking attitude, but I agreed to go.
So should I expect more than a venting session from my counseling? I figure at some point we will do counseling together too.

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-22-2014, 10:15 PM
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Re: What to expect from individual counseling

Jasmine, I'd recommend you find another counsellor, or try another one at least. I tried 3 before finding one I really liked. If you don't feel you are getting much out of it, then you probably aren't'. That said it takes a few sessions for the person to get to know you. The first one I went to, it felt like having coffee with a girlfriend, she offered very little help, just a listening ear. The second one I tried told me I was completely shut down and had a very harsh approach, which just made me angry. The 3rd one… she was great. I'm still seeing her after a year and getting a lot out of the sessions.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-22-2014, 11:24 PM
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Re: What to expect from individual counseling

I think that if you're not getting positive results after three sessions it's time to move on.
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