Re: Don't know if I should say something in therapy or not
If it's me. I throw her out. Help her pack her belongings take them to the door, put her coat and hat on her and tell her that once she steps out of the house then don't come back, don't call, don't bother you, then close the door, hire a lawyer and file, expose the affair to everyone and if the guy si married, tell his wife.
I would also get your own accounts at the bank, take her name off the credit cards and get them in your name only. If she owns a car, make her pay for gas and expenses including insurance.
In other words put her on a island where all she sees is empty ocean around her and wish her luck either goo or bad, your choice.
Maybe then she'll wake up and see what she's giving up and then if you want a R, then make her earn every bit of it. She started it, she owns it now she has to pay for it.