Boundries with Counselors - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Experiences in Counseling Have you been through professional marriage or relationship counseling? Are you considering it? This section is for topics related to seeing a therapist.

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-09-2011, 07:17 PM
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Re: Boundries with Counselors

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I still don't think that this has a physical risk attached to it but more of an emotional relationship. He's a little chubby and not very attractive but can sure speak her language. I guess anything is possible and maybe I am naive, but I think the risk is low. We are moving out of state soon so distance will take care of some aspects of things, however my wife has a part time job that will bring her back once a month for a few days. She also has said she will continue to speak to him over the phone and Skype and even plans to write a future book with him(she loves that attention and any talk from me questioning this she takes as a personal offense to her new found independence and confidence). I certainly don't want to worry about the "emotional hookup", especially when she comes back for work.

Even if there is no physical aspect of this it sucks sharing my wife's heart!
I assure you women have sex with men for very emotional reasons. The fact he can really talk her language is pretty much what will get him there. I will let the ladies comment on this.

Yes, that is when it would happen. You see it is about isolating the primary male from his wife. The trips coming back would be perfect. She would probably just stay in a hotel room and they could work together. This just puts you at a distance. That takes care of his Approach Anxiety ... which he does not seem to have any.

Skype cool. They can see each other then. I donlt know how many threads I have seen where the OM was 1000 or more miles away and yet somehow the APs got together and made it a PA.

You never said what the topic of the book was. Do you think that matters? You also never said what her qualifications were to wriote the book.


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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-09-2011, 07:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Boundries with Counselors

You asked a very imnprotant question, "Does she work outside the home". She has been a stay at home mom for 19 years and last year she wanted to work. I was very supportive of this and thought this to be a great escape from the sometimes thankless job of being a mother. She is very talanted and has been very admired and appreciated at her work. This along with the counsoling has "changed" her. It is almost as if she said "screw you guys, I am now doing what is best for me and I don't care. "I am getting my needs met".

Anyway, I have heard this about some other women at this age so I have tried to be patient through the process but I am afraid it is getting to be a bit much for me.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-09-2011, 07:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Boundries with Counselors

No qualifications per say but would probably make a good editor or something like that. I think she mentioned a book about parenting or things with kids but I am not sure.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-09-2011, 07:35 PM
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Re: Boundries with Counselors

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No qualifications per say but would probably make a good editor or something like that. I think she mentioned a book about parenting or things with kids but I am not sure.
Parenting would make sense. I was afraid it was more about husbands, wives, affairs or intimacy.

I am beginning to think that a wife being a SAHM is very risky for a marriage these days. People have said that to me, but I am seeing it now.

Maybe its all risky these days. Well you have some advice from a number of folks. I hope it works out for you two.

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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 07-28-2014, 05:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Boundries with Counselors

It has been 3 years now since I first posted about my situation. I opened it up today and re-read my original post and the thoughts that followed by many of you. I was extremely jealous and super nave back then. She filed for divorce a few months after my original post. We went to counseling for several months but one day just simply said "I'm done". The counsel whom I questioned his boundaries and which many on this forum saw his intentions from a mile away, ended up divorcing his wife of 30 years and is now engaged to my Ex. Funny thing how this all works. Thanks for many who saw this for what it was and is. At this point they deserve each other, but the carnage of divorce has a devastating affect on so many! Hopefully justice will prevail someday. I fear the day that I end up face to face with this bastard! Protect your marriage and if you suspect something or are uncomfortable with something in your marriage.....STOP IT before it is too late.
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