Thank you all for the advice and feedback. The tricky part for me is how to stop it concidering her emotional bond. I have discussed this many times with her and she contiues to down play the relationship or justify it based on my so called "inability to communicate with her on this level". I have told her that that line of rational is like me having a sexual affair because she isn't satisfying me in a certain area? Not trying to compare an emotional affair to a physical affair but I do feel I am being cheated on.
Not sure if he is licensed or not but I do know he see's very few people. He has written 3 or so books on relationships and marriage and also does some speaking. I dont want to send the impression that I have not appreciated the many things he has helped my family with but even that has had it's repercussions because my wife feels indebted to him. He has also suggested that he help her write a book together. He certainly feeds her ego and I am sure he gets a rise being the savior figure to a smoking hot 41 year old.
She is in an EA. She has to stop contact with him because she has this emotional bond with him. He knows enough about relationships then to be highly skilled at seducing her. You are in over your head. he is holding too many cards.
What the topic of his new book that she is writing with him?
Are they going to be role playing for this book?
I think you need to stop having gratitude to the man who is seducing your wife.
Why in the world are they writing a book together? Does your wife have some professional background with this or is her being smokin hot and willing fit the bill.
Maybe his wife should be writing this book with him.
The more you describe the relationship the more over the top it gets. I guess they will need to be spending a lot of time together alone without your daugther or you being present. Has this started yet?
If you are unable or unwilling to tell her this relationship is unacceptable to you then she is already gone. Maybe she will stay with you of course for financial support and cake eating but she will emotionlly be his and sorry they will at least play with a PA. The hugging is just a first level of breaking down boundaries. There will be longer hugs and some kisses and maybe a neck / back massage or two as they work hard and long hours on the book. And frankly who knows what other tactics he can employ to break her down. Probably dressing more casually ... Maybe working the book around the pool. Again some role play to test out feelings and reactions. All in the name of science and research. There will be working through the night. No point in her coming home. She will stay at his place so they can hit things first thing in the morning. He probably has a place where he does his writing. A cabin somewhere ... Yeah I have a wild imagination but this lends itself to this type of speculation.
I am trying to imagine a better cover for an affair than this and it eludes me. They can text and email about love and sex and emotions and be plausibly working on the book.
She is already saying that he is meeting some of her needs that you are incapable of doing. Total fog talk here. She may be too far gone already so you better put your foot down and stop being so wishy washy. She is past rationally discussing this with you. In fact she is talking down to you. That is disrespect. She admires and respects him which is a major guy need. The only thing left above that is Sexual Fullfillment. It can get there based on what is being said. He is pushing all the buttons. He has probably done this before.