Counseling went awry... - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Experiences in Counseling Have you been through professional marriage or relationship counseling? Are you considering it? This section is for topics related to seeing a therapist.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-12-2016, 11:10 PM
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 2,473
Re: Counseling went awry...

Originally Posted by Faiora View Post
Scandinavia is different in general than the UK (and the US, and Canada where I'm from) in the sense that marriages function a bit differently. Men and women are a lot more equal. Fathers are more likely to take leave to raise their children. It's nearly always the case that both the man and woman work full time and both participate equally in cooking and other chores (interesting you mention Denmark as half my extended family lives there). There's less focus on gender roles.

So, it makes sense that men and women may be equally likely to suggest counselling and equally likely to feel they are being listened to.

Are the Englishmen you mention in Denmark because that's where their spouse is from?
Yes, they typically have Danish spouses, though I had an American spouse and had the same experience. I terms of sharing domestic tasks, the UK and Denmark seem very similar to me and surveys that survey what is actually dome rather that reported seem to confirm this. I accept that Danish men work fewer hours and Danish women a little more than their UK counterparts.

Where there is a difference in the sex roles is in responsibility, which is more equal in Denmark and more on the man in the UK. The other side of that is Danish women often have more self-confidence. My then Danish girlfriend was with a group of women in England who were discussing how their men were such wimps when they had a minor sniffle, when my ex- said I was rather stoic, she got the stink-eye - she did not share their insecurities.

As for why Danish men would be more likely to suggest counseling, I think you are onto something. However, I suspect if you are a man in Denmark, you genuinely would be correct in thinking the counselor is more likely to listen to you. Also, as the role of emotional anchor less heavily placed on the man (as you suggest), men are more used to be listened to and expect it rather more. I know an Australian man who suggested counseling to his wife and he does seem to (good man though he is) have the 'nice guy' tendency of thinking his feelings and emotional needs are the most important thing for everyone.

Mr The Other is offline  
Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
We had our first marriage counseling session yesterday. beatricecat Reconciliation 10 01-27-2016 03:01 PM
I am a coward. TNC Considering Divorce or Separation 33 01-04-2016 01:09 PM
Marriage counseling doable? DualvansMommy Experiences in Counseling 2 12-06-2015 10:20 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome