Divorced Marriage Therapist - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 10:18 AM Thread Starter
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Thumbs up Divorced Marriage Therapist

Hello, what are your thoughts please. We have started seeing a lovely therapist (6 sessions) and my hubby asked if she was married. She said no. I know everyone is human just wondering what everyone else thinks. My hubby reassured me that we dont know the situation with a therapist who is married and our divorcee therapist could have worn a ring if she wanted to show she is married. Does it make a differnce? And can she give us different qualities?

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 10:21 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

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And can she give us different qualities?
Therapists don't give people qualities.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 10:22 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

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Hello, what are your thoughts please. We have started seeing a lovely therapist (6 sessions) and my hubby asked if she was married. She said no. I know everyone is human just wondering what everyone else thinks. My hubby reassured me that we dont know the situation with a therapist who is married and our divorcee therapist could have worn a ring if she wanted to show she is married. Does it make a differnce? And can she give us different qualities?
It takes two people to work at a marriage to make it work. Generally, the people who post memes on Facebook with **** relationship advice are the ones who are the lazy ones. When my marriage was failing, it was men if difficult marriages who gave me good advice. They were the ones who knew the struggle.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 10:48 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

Are you asking if someone who has experienced divorce can give good marriage advice? If so, then I'd say most definitely yes. I'm sure they can give far better advice based on actual experience and realities of life, than someone who has never even been married (such as a priest).

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 12:53 PM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

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Are you asking if someone who has experienced divorce can give good marriage advice? If so, then I'd say most definitely yes. I'm sure they can give far better advice based on actual experience and realities of life, than someone who has never even been married (such as a priest).
I will defend Priests on this. My limited experience is that they had far more insight than the vast majority of married people. I suspect they are carrying less baggage and have seen and heard the realities of these things up close. There will be bad ones, but the same can be said of therapists.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-13-2016, 01:32 PM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

I don't think being divorced disqualifies her as a marital therapist, although in that circumstance I would like to know why she is divorced.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 07:18 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

thank you all for your comments.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 07:40 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

To become a therapist there is much formal training.

To become a spouse all you have to do is write some checks and say yes
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 08:08 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

are you asking if she's a hypocrite because she herself got a divorce? maybe, maybe not.

Perhaps her ex-husband was abusive, perhaps the marriage just wasn't fixable, perhaps she married and divorced before becoming a therapist.

Actually, I'd be wary of a therapist that claims 100% of marriages are repairable or worth continuing. Divorce should always be an option, but a carefully considered option.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 08:17 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

Unfortunately therapists don't have certifications about their own relationship skills. I would pause and want to know the circumstances of her divorce but its not good for every client to need to ask that. Some therapists may not have good advice because they are not capable of picking a good partner and making their relationships successful, no matter what they learned in school. It would be nice if there was a 3rd party certification process that vetted their relationship skills, but that could still include divorcing a partner who is destructive. Divorce in and of itself doesn't mean much until you know the full situation.

But yes, I would personally be cautious about the advice she was giving me if I didn't know why she was divorced. Maybe use therapists for individual growth and basic communication skills with others.


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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 08:31 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

There are also some very good physicians that are horrible patients.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-15-2016, 08:45 AM
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Re: Divorced Marriage Therapist

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There are also some very good physicians that are horrible patients.
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Its not that the therapist would or wouldnt make a good client to another therapist. It would be like a bad physician training someone else on how to be a good physician.
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