Did marriage counseling help your relationship or make it worse?

GoingCrazii · 10-28-2011, 06:03 AM

My husband and I are going to be starting marriage counseling next week and I'm kinda nervous. I have heard that it can actually do more harm to the relationship then good

Any advice or suggestions?

DanF · 10-28-2011, 06:05 AM

It saved my marriage.

GoingCrazii · 10-28-2011, 06:12 AM

Thank you for sharing your story...does this emotional roller coaster ride ever end?

Just Tired Of It All · 10-28-2011, 06:40 AM

Iv actually said this to my H,,, I am tired of this roller coaster ride..I want off of it already. even if that mean I have to make a huge jump off of it in mid ride.....

Just Tired Of It All · 10-28-2011, 06:42 AM

Wish I knew the answer to the MC thing guess I will need this one answered before we start the MC too...if we make it that far!

Mindful Coach · 10-28-2011, 07:17 AM

The important thing is to find a counselor that fits for you and your husband. You may have to go to several, but when you find the one that's a good match, you'll notice miracles can happen.

jayde · 10-28-2011, 10:23 AM

Yep - find a good one. The yahoo we had was my wife's IC, then our MC (while seeing my wife), then my daughter's IC (with the wife 'sitting' in). Bad sitchy all around. Good luck.

DanF · 10-28-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingCrazii

Thank you for sharing your story...does this emotional roller coaster ride ever end?

Yes, it does. My wife and I are happier now than ever.
Keep in mind though, it is never perfect. No marriage is. Occasionally, I can allow myself to think about the past and get angry, sad, depressed, etc, etc. I have to make myself snap out of it and think of happier things.

If you both work and are willing to change some things, you can work it out and heal.

nice777guy · 10-28-2011, 11:49 PM

I can't imagine it could actually "hurt" anything. Counseling - in general - has helped me personally - but did not help our marriage.

Good luck...

jayde · 10-30-2011, 08:25 AM

In my limited personal experience - IC and MC are to totally different animals. IC I have found to be very helpful. MC not

Wildflower3 · 01-12-2012, 01:52 PM

I have found IC and MC very helpful. We were seeing an MC that is also my IC (started IC after MC), but we are switching to a different MC because we want to try a different type of therapy that will be short term, then return to our current MC. I have heard that you may have to try different MCs before finding the "right" one. We were lucky right off the bat. The new MC we are going to start seeing talked to us on the phone before hand to get a feel of what we wanted and what our goals are. I'm excited about it.

Oh, and to answer your question, yes, it has helped tremendously. Though I can't say where we will be in terms of our marriage (we are separated going on 3 months now), but we are in a better place than where we were when he first moved out.

Hope1964 · 01-12-2012, 01:56 PM

helped IMMENSELY. Still is.

OhGeesh · 01-15-2012, 09:32 AM

Not a fan of any type of counseling, but totally get how it helps others!!

cgh · 01-24-2012, 07:21 AM

i have found MC does help to a point. they are only there to help steer you in the right direction. if both people are not on the same page its going to be a hard road. i'm on the hard road at the moment. the MC helps.

Rejected · 01-25-2012, 03:08 PM

MC neither helped nor hurt my marriage. It hurt my wallet though.