mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Counseling and Professional Help »Experiences in Counseling » mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???

Experiences in Counseling Have you been through professional marriage or relationship counseling? Are you considering it? This section is for topics related to seeing a therapist.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-21-2012, 11:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 8
Default mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???

I have posted a bit of a backstory in my first post (please read), and am here again....

We are going to mc at my request because i feel we need to go and talk to someone and get some help to save our marriage he feels pressured into going by me.

My H and i went to our first mc session almost 2 weeks ago. During this session it was a bit of the counciller getting to know us again (we went for a single session early last year but that was it as H didnt think we needed to go, despite me asking him to go to help us) and for most of the session was focused on me and how i feel. I am not a big sharer of my feelings i tend to bottle things up, deal with them myself as i often dont feel listened to or that my thoughts, opinions or feelings are vaild or heard and then at the past minute when i am drowning and gasping for my last breath i ask for help. I understand that she was trying to help me feel comfortable and get me to trust her and that mc is a 'safe place' for me to share my thoughts. the session was alot of me talking and sobbing about our relationship and how unhappy i am. i was very honest and didnt monitor what i said as i want our marriage to work and i know that i cannot fix it on my own (as my husband doesnt hear/see/think it needs fixing).

At the end of the session we were given our 'homework' for the next 2 weeks, made another appointment and went home. Our 'homework' was to have open and honest communication with each other and to speak with truth and grace.
When my H and i arrived home (seperatly we went straight from work to mc) we got there within minutes of each other, me being 1st to arrive. When my H got out the car i immediatly knew he was not happy and in a bad mood. he wouldnt talk to me, make eye contact or answer my questions. after a little bit of time and me reminding him of the 'homework' we had been set and the fact that we were no less than 30 minutes after the 1st session and he was bailing on it.....

he told me how he was feeling (sort of i think) things like he didnt know that i felt that way and things were this bad - although i have been saying this stuff for YEARS!!!! and then he suggested that i go and stay with my parents for the next few days, i didnt ask why, i didnt fight i just said yes and i have now been staying there of almost 2 weeks.

My issue is that our next session is comming up tomorrow and i am extreamly apprehensive about going.... if he asked me to stay else where after the 1st session what will the 2nd one hold?
Rainbownotsobright is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-21-2012, 11:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 8
Default Re: mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???

I just thought i would add that in the past although i have felt like i wanted to move out i never have. I have left our home for a few hours then returned (telling him that i was leaving bc i was so sad/angry and that i would be back).

Lately if feels like whenever we get into an arguement he is the one who brings up me moving out or us getting a divorce... I feel like i have been trying so hard to keep us together and now that its messy (bc i am no longer just standing by and being walked on) his option is its either i move out or we divorce. and thats extreamly frustrating....
(sigh.......)
Rainbownotsobright is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Reasonable to Request Open Communication & No Solo Partying? wantingadvice Considering Divorce or Separation 8 04-06-2012 07:41 AM
Direct, open communication - figuring out why we're different from what I see shy_guy General Relationship Discussion 1 02-27-2012 05:34 AM
No communication - so I made the 1st move The Weak One made a move Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 02-20-2012 08:46 AM
Why can't I be more open? loveismymonster Sex in Marriage 3 06-23-2011 09:49 PM
communication is still open but..... cami Considering Divorce or Separation 9 07-04-2010 07:10 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:32 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.