mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF??? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 02-21-2012, 11:27 PM Thread Starter
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mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???

I have posted a bit of a backstory in my first post (please read), and am here again....

We are going to mc at my request because i feel we need to go and talk to someone and get some help to save our marriage he feels pressured into going by me.

My H and i went to our first mc session almost 2 weeks ago. During this session it was a bit of the counciller getting to know us again (we went for a single session early last year but that was it as H didnt think we needed to go, despite me asking him to go to help us) and for most of the session was focused on me and how i feel. I am not a big sharer of my feelings i tend to bottle things up, deal with them myself as i often dont feel listened to or that my thoughts, opinions or feelings are vaild or heard and then at the past minute when i am drowning and gasping for my last breath i ask for help. I understand that she was trying to help me feel comfortable and get me to trust her and that mc is a 'safe place' for me to share my thoughts. the session was alot of me talking and sobbing about our relationship and how unhappy i am. i was very honest and didnt monitor what i said as i want our marriage to work and i know that i cannot fix it on my own (as my husband doesnt hear/see/think it needs fixing).

At the end of the session we were given our 'homework' for the next 2 weeks, made another appointment and went home. Our 'homework' was to have open and honest communication with each other and to speak with truth and grace.
When my H and i arrived home (seperatly we went straight from work to mc) we got there within minutes of each other, me being 1st to arrive. When my H got out the car i immediatly knew he was not happy and in a bad mood. he wouldnt talk to me, make eye contact or answer my questions. after a little bit of time and me reminding him of the 'homework' we had been set and the fact that we were no less than 30 minutes after the 1st session and he was bailing on it.....

he told me how he was feeling (sort of i think) things like he didnt know that i felt that way and things were this bad - although i have been saying this stuff for YEARS!!!! and then he suggested that i go and stay with my parents for the next few days, i didnt ask why, i didnt fight i just said yes and i have now been staying there of almost 2 weeks.

My issue is that our next session is comming up tomorrow and i am extreamly apprehensive about going.... if he asked me to stay else where after the 1st session what will the 2nd one hold?

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 02-21-2012, 11:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: mc said 'open and honest communication', H said 'move out' WTF???

I just thought i would add that in the past although i have felt like i wanted to move out i never have. I have left our home for a few hours then returned (telling him that i was leaving bc i was so sad/angry and that i would be back).

Lately if feels like whenever we get into an arguement he is the one who brings up me moving out or us getting a divorce... I feel like i have been trying so hard to keep us together and now that its messy (bc i am no longer just standing by and being walked on) his option is its either i move out or we divorce. and thats extreamly frustrating....
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