Counselors Ethics Question? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 03:33 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

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arbitrator: I read your initial post and fast forwarded to the end of the thread.

I don't know what was revealed in the thread, but apparently, your W has been carrying on concurrent A's both during and before your separation.

That being said, I can see your reason for using the derogatory info on her if needed to strengthen your bargaining position in the D proceedings, but can see it showing no purpose afterward.

IMO, her family probably already knows she's a fruitcake and wonder why you married her or they think she's the best thing since sliced bread - either way, the info you have will likely not interest them in the least.

I don't think throwing it all on your kids to make you feel better is justified.

Now...if your kids ask about it - then give them all the info they want.

While I consider her family as "salt of the earth" and always quite loving and respecting of me, they are all pretty straight-laced. Some of them actually know one of STBXW's OM really well from many years ago as her deceased first husband's best friend at work. STBXW's mother would be absolutely petrified to find out about it as it was allegedly presented to her that the divorce occurred because I was deemed by her to be a "deadbeat!"

Guess that all I really want to do is just set the record straight and give them my version of what happened along with all of the supporting evidence; and in doing so, let them make up their own minds!


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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 03:41 PM
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

I can understand that. Just remember blood is thicker than water.

"It's only kinky the first time"

"My wife said she wants to shoot my azz"..."You are a worthy target" replied my friend.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 07:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

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I can understand that. Just remember blood is thicker than water.
Maybe with one or two relatives. But the others as well as the mutual friends will be floored and in essence, it will give testimony to the lack of her moral character~ they'll greatly see her for who she truly is!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 07:48 PM
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

OP,...... back to your original question "Counselors Ethics Question?" ..... My W and I were doing IC & MC with the same councilor. During a IC session I told the counselor of some things about my W that raised red flags for me.....The councilors response was , "See my license on the wall?"..I said yes she said " I could lose my license, if I give you any confidential information your W has told me".

So I don't know about your state, but in mine, a counselor is not allowed to reveal anything they are told, unless they have permission. So your counselor was acting in an appropriate manner not telling you, (very frustrating)
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 08:40 PM
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

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OP,...... back to your original question "Counselors Ethics Question?" ..... My W and I were doing IC & MC with the same councilor. During a IC session I told the counselor of some things about my W that raised red flags for me.....The councilors response was , "See my license on the wall?"..I said yes she said " I could lose my license, if I give you any confidential information your W has told me".

So I don't know about your state, but in mine, a counselor is not allowed to reveal anything they are told, unless they have permission. So your counselor was acting in an appropriate manner not telling you, (very frustrating)
That would drive me nuts. I feel that our counselor uses some of the issues each of us discuss in our private sessions to decide on what to discuss and bring up in our combined sessions (which has been most sessions). He does some sessions in which we will each meet with him for 20 minutes or so separately and then finish up with both of us. He shares some of the things said by each of us that he feels can be helpful for us to know and work on. I know we didn't sign anything, or maybe my wife did at her first session before I joined her, but basically what he stated is that he will share anything said on either side if he feels it will help resolving our issues.
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post #21 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-01-2012, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Counselors Ethics Question?

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That would drive me nuts. I feel that our counselor uses some of the issues each of us discuss in our private sessions to decide on what to discuss and bring up in our combined sessions (which has been most sessions). He does some sessions in which we will each meet with him for 20 minutes or so separately and then finish up with both of us. He shares some of the things said by each of us that he feels can be helpful for us to know and work on. I know we didn't sign anything, or maybe my wife did at her first session before I joined her, but basically what he stated is that he will share anything said on either side if he feels it will help resolving our issues.
And that seemed to be pretty much the case with our MC, even when she had to do individual marriage counseling sessions. She would bring up things only that my STBXW could have told her about me~ as she absolutely couldn't have gotten it from anybody else.

But at the time, it just didn't really seem to matter to me at all!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...andonment.html
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