Can a counselor ask this?
Little backstory: My stbxw had an affair with a coworker for around 5 months. Lied, gas lit, rug swept the whole time, made me feel crazy. I discovered it myself on 12/19/12, exposed everything. Recently filed for divorce but she is asking to attend marriage counseling. I asked for marriage counseling months before I discovered her affair. I gave her two months to either sever contact with posOM or move on.
Funny thing is she admitted to still talking to posOM and has refused to leave her job. Those are deal breakers for me, but since I filed already, I don't see the harm in going to speak with someone, if anything to have a different opinion. If we make progress in the 60 days til the divorce is final, then I can stop it.
My questions is this: I'd assume that the counselor would ask if she was still in contact with posOM. Since the answer is yes, can the counselor say that he/she thinks that my stbxw should find another job?
I posed this question to my stbxw, she said that she'd tell the counselor its not an option. I know I'm not being unreasonable to ask for NC with posOM, but for people who have already gone to rounds of counseling, is it even worth it to try to convince her otherwise?