Re: Marriage counseling
Our first MC was quite good, but didn't get anywhere because we were not honest about our issues. That was in year 8. We were both in a lot of emotional pain and our problems were very raw. In the end she said she wasn't getting anywhere with us and she actually advised us to separate. Which we didn't, both being stubborn people.
Our next MC was in year 11, and she sided totally with my husband who said the issue was that I wouldn't have sex with him. The sessions were all about re-stimulating my 'desire'. It all went very badly because the sex thing was actually a consequence not a cause.
Our third MC was in year 18 and he was the best we had, but he seemed to side with me and told my husband that he was being highly disrespectful towards me. He was the first one to realise that I was afraid of my husband and that my confidence levels were completely shot through. This did help our marriage a lot but I think it came too late. My husband didn't like him much because he felt we needed to rebuild trust before we had sex again.
Now (Year 26) we are looking at seeing a fourth one, because it is a legal requirement when obtaining a divorce in my state and country. Neither of us are looking forward to it.