Re: Separation counseling
My STBXW and I tried it. Each session turned into an individual counseling session for her. I didn't get much from it. The counselor was pretty good and actually expressed his admiration that we were trying it. Unfortunately, my STBXW used each session as a forum to yell at me, insult me, and remind me of why she wanted a divorce. She even expressed anger over the fact that I was trying to fix the things she didn't like about me, moving on with my life and proceeding with the divorce and moving out like she requested. The counselor did his best to calm her down. The last session we had in July ended after 15 minutes of her yelling at me over a conflict in our divorce negotiation. Because of the yelling I finally told her to shut up and let me have a turn. She stood up screamed in my face some more and left. Spent the next 45 minutes talking with the counselor myself. (It's the same way our last marriage counseling session ended last fall, except I had been calmer last fall).
Basically, I learned that any attempt at couples counseling requires the commitment of both partners. In the prior marriage counseling and the separation counseling, she was never a participant or interested in working together to solve problems. I feel like I at least gave it my best shot and have no guilt over proceeding with the dissolution.