Lost and confused
Have been married for 9 years, together for 11 and husband left 5 nights ago. We have been having some issues since our son was born 2 1/2 years ago. It was a difficult and emotional pregnancy followed by myself becoming depressed and having severe anxiety and letting it go untreated for over a year. We grew apart and there was no intimacy in our marriage for 8 months due to my depression and his new work hours. We had a falling out 6 months ago in January due to my anxiety and fear of losing him, where he said he was not happy and was not in love with me. We attended marriage counseling twice and I have been attending individual therapy regularly with medication. We did well for about 6 weeks when he again said he was unhappy and wanted to leave. I turned into the husband stalker and was hacking into his emails and phone. And was texting him and telling him I loved 1,000 times a day. We had become intimate again, but I wanted way too much and he said I was smothering him. We just returned from a vacation to visit his family and while looking through pictures of our vacation on his phone I came across a secret app with messages to a woman. They were work related but ended with "I love you". When I confronted him, he said she was just a friend. Now he is staying at said "friend's" house on the "couch". He says he loves me but he is "not happy". He has come home almost daily to see our son, we eat dinner together, and have even gone out to dinner and for family activities. I have an appointment with a family counselor and he said if I wanted him to he would go also, after my first appointment. I am devastated and continue to push him away with my tears and pleading and angry accusations. Please give me some advice, I truly do love him! Our wedding bands say "mo Anam cara" which translates to "my soul mate" in Gaelic.