How to explain divorce to your kids

emptiness · 06-28-2007, 11:58 PM

I need some help on how to explain to my kids (16, 12 & 9) that their dad and I are getting a divorce. I'm afraid i might give them a wrong information. I've read this online article Explaining Divorce to your Kids but it is somehow not enough. I need some other opinion and suggestions.

draconis · 10-04-2007, 07:47 PM

I think the article is right on. Just tell them you know how sometimes you are good friends with someone but it fades or something happens and you don't get along well that happened with X and I. We feel that we would be better and you would be better off if we parted ways. You don't have to pick sides we hope you still love both of us like we both still love you.

Then let them ask questions. Answer carefully but honestly. All the details can be laid down much later in life.

draconis

riskey58 · 11-18-2007, 12:43 PM

I think it is very important to tell the kids that you are not getting along anymore. And to me the most important things are is to not to blame it on just one person. And to make sure that the kids know that in no way it is their fault.

draconis · 11-18-2007, 07:22 PM

I had divorced my first wife many years ago. My ex wife and I remained civel to each other for the sake of our child. Later we came full circle to being friends. While it is tough to sometimes get along with the other parent the less you try to make the kids pick side, hear bad things about the other parent, Hear the troubles of the relationship, Or be left to think they had anything to do with it. Of course it takes two and the question becomes what do you do if the other parent is nasty about you. I would simple tell the child X needs time to understand this is best for everyone, right now they feel hurt.

draconis

mollyL · 02-19-2008, 07:54 PM

This has to be a situation where an infinite well of patience would be a blessing to dip into. No matter what course you follow, all of the kids need to be assured that they are loved, that the situation is not their fault, and that you have always, and will always, love and cherish them.

Liza · 02-29-2008, 12:38 PM

I would suggest you explain to them at different times, the 16 and the 12 year old together, chances are they may have had romantic feeling for someone at some point, and it had disappeared after a while. The younger one you would have to use a different strategy, I am not sure what to suggest. Let them know that you both still love them.

Green-Moo · 03-01-2008, 08:00 AM

Your kids are old enough to know what divorce is, but their perceptions are likely to be coloured by the experience of school friends. It's really important that you explain to them how this divorce will affect them, and that it will be different to anyone elses. Of course, the things they will have taken away from school friends' stories are likely to be the bad bits, but divorce doesn't have to be like that.