[tater03]

How do I get my husband to follow through when he diciplines. The boys walk all over their Dad and they think he is the fun one because he never follows through when he diciplines. This drives me nuts only because I do and the boys think of me as the mean one. He really needs to start diciplining them better while they are young because as they get older it is only going to get worse when he sees that they are not listening to him.

[draconis]

Originally Posted by tater03

How do I get my husband to follow through when he diciplines. The boys walk all over their Dad and they think he is the fun one because he never follows through when he diciplines. This drives me nuts only because I do and the boys think of me as the mean one. He really needs to start diciplining them better while they are young because as they get older it is only going to get worse when he sees that they are not listening to him.

It's very important.

One thing the wife an I do is use the United front. We go off together discuss it and both go back and say x together.

There is not a nice/mean parent that way.

They don't play well I'll tell dad because I'll get off with a slap on the hand.

United front also means for the sentence to be reduced you both have to agree. Again no nice/mean parent.

draconis

[ACCER]

The united front is the best gift you can ever give your children. Not only does it raise them well, they learn how to parent that way...

[draconis]

Originally Posted by ACCER

The united front is the best gift you can ever give your children. Not only does it raise them well, they learn how to parent that way...

Thank you ACCER I think it also shows them the togetherness of a relationship with common interest and goal. Our children know if they ask one of us for something the other is talked to before an answer is given , atleast on the major stuff.

draconis

[mamab]

I agree, you have to have a united front when disciplining. You can't allow them to be treated differently with each parent.

[draconis]

One other thing I forgot to say. This should apply in a divorce to, albeit much harder for some but not impossible if the parents come together for the children.

draconis

[tater03]

Thank you, I will make sure that me and hubby have talked about what we intend to say or do before they do it. You're right we need to communicate better and be on the same page. Thanks

[mamab]

The other thing is, you need to decide ahead of time what certain actions (misbehaviors) will constitute which ever displine form you've decided upon. You can't expect to have a "united" front when you haven't decided ahead of time what the actions call for, and made sure you've told your child/ren what those actions will get them.

[draconis]

Originally Posted by mamab

The other thing is, you need to decide ahead of time what certain actions (misbehaviors) will constitute which ever displine form you've decided upon. You can't expect to have a "united" front when you haven't decided ahead of time what the actions call for, and made sure you've told your child/ren what those actions will get them.

With us 99.9 percent of the youngest issues are dealt with time outs. But because their are a thousand different things we don't have an xyz plan.


draconis

[kajira]

My two cents: If there is an issue you don't agree on, where he or you are correct, whom ever is control of that particular situation at that moment, the other one needs to back up. Then in private discuss what was not liked about the situation. This way you avoid authority being diminshed from the other. Ex. My husband did not like how i was handling a situation and jumped all over in front the child, now the child thinks "well i don't like this, I'll just get dad to do what I want"....you have to work together towards a common goal.....what is best for the kids