My Wife Hates My Kids - Page 3

stav · 03-28-2008, 08:15 AM

Sorry to hear this

I still think it is insecurity on her part rather than hatred. If as the counsellor says, there is a question about maturity, then that is probably part of the reason why she cannot adjust to your previous children. Childish jealousy.

Can I just say, I notice that you keep refering to her as 'my daughter'. Please remember that she is the daughter of both of you, when the time comes for separation. After all, considering the things that happened to you regarding your other kids, the last thing you want to cause, is the same situation for your daughter in the future.

Kenya26 · 03-30-2008, 09:26 PM

Ok...I am going to come at this topic objectively. Unlike the other repliers, I feel that your wife comes first b/c I believe in the Bible and it says so. However, her behavior and attitude towards your other children is not healthy for them or you. It is not fair to make a person choose between their kids and their marriage. It sounds like she is allowing her strong dislike for this other woman to overshadow her better sense of judgement. Sometimes we women can do that and we have to be careful of that. Your other children are a constant reminder to her of your past with this other woman that had the opportunity to have you and your children before she did. Sometimes it is hard to deal with your spouses past, and it seems like she is a little insecure. I don't think you need a divorce just yet, but you guys do need counseling right away, and you have to put your foot down a little more and suffer the consequences associated with that. You are the man in your home and as long as you are not disrespected your wife by seeing this other woman, you having a relationship with your children should be allowed. I would not snick around, but instead tell her what you are doing with your children, invite her and deal with the blow up later. It is worth it for your children. I am married to a man who was previously married and I think I know a little bit about what she is feeling. It is hard to always deal with someones past when you are trying to form a future with them. Everyone can say "divorce her, put your kids first, she should be understanding and accepting". But until you have actually been in a similar situation you can't rightfully judge her state of mind and her heart.

Gtarist62 · 03-31-2008, 12:45 AM

I realize that my daughter is "our" daughter. It's a pity my wife doesn't. My only hope now is that I get a judge who sees me for what I am - a good father - and recognizes what a bad thing my wife is doing and rewards me joint custody. I've filed for full custody, but I've already offered my wife a deal: I have our daughter for 3 sleepovers a week and 2 weekends a month. She gets more custody of her, but that's okay, because deep down I believe that a little girl belongs with her mom (most of the time). She balked on the deal, so it looks like we're going to court. And unless my wife walks into court and lies about me, I think she's in for a big surprise. Judges don't tolerate parents who won't let the other see the child. I've heard nightmare stories about women who lie and say their husband molested their child or was violent, etc. I wouldn't put it past my wife to try that strategy.

stav · 03-31-2008, 02:46 AM

I am sure the courts will see that you are being reasonable, and make sure you have access to your daughter. Things have changed quite a bit, and the automatic 'with mom is best' attitude of the courts is changing.

Good luck. Hope that it's resolved with the minimum of pain for all involved.

leah1987 · 03-31-2008, 06:55 AM

leave the wife bc its not healthy for your daughter to be around this type of behaviour and she would be better off seeing her parents not fighting and being happier...then your kids can actually share a bond that they arent getting now. you seem like a truly loving father and you know whats best.

Liza · 03-31-2008, 01:25 PM

It's really sad to see your family break up like that. Please ensure the next relationship you get into, you take time to know the person, don't readily speak about this to your new "mate".Just watch how she reacts and interacts with your kids first, because some people can really pretend. Just so you don't get burnt like that again.