02-05-2010, 10:49 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Rochester, New York
| | How to deal with a husband who hates his 18 year old stepdaughter
I have been married for 5 years (second marriage) I have 2 teenage daughters 18 and 15. My oldest and my husband in the beginning were ok but in the last 3 years things here have become so out of controll with them. We sat all the kids down after we were married and went over the rules that we all abide to (that even goes for myself and my husband). His 17 year old son became a handfull and decided to move out for he said he couldn't follow our rules. The rules are; 1) to leave a note letting us know where you were going and a phone number incase we need to contact you. 2) No phone after 9:00 that also includes cell phones (friends calling all hours of the night).
3) Please bring down you dirty laundry and to please try and keep your room picked up. Since his son left my husband had become so angry at myself and my kids that we walk around the house on eggshells. He knows how to push my oldest buttons and just wants her to do something so that he can tell to get out. He goes at me for he knows that will set her off and she thinks that she needs to protect me. My first marriage was a very abusive, physical, emotionally and verbally and she saw what her father use to do to me. I have talked to her and told her that I am a big girl and that I can handle myself, but she feels that she needs to protect me. He was taken out of the house 3 years ago and put into the R wing at a hospital for he went off the deep end. Went to counseling didn't really deal with what sent him over the edge always directed everything towards myself and my kids. We were the problem in his eyes, well that lasted maybe 1 year and then he stopped going. They had an altercation last April and he told me that he had an order of protection against my daughter. She was never served with any papers nor was I so I thought that was a little weird. Come to find out this past November that he was lying for once again he called the police to have her removed from the house and I asked the officer if he could check to see if there was really an order of proptection againt her. Well come to find out it was just his way of controlling everyone. He took $2500.00 out of the account and told me that it was a retainer fee for a lawyer. That I was going to be served divorce papers on December 15, 2009 but he contacted his lawyer and told him to hold off. I have been trying to keep peace at home for I have lost my job back in May and have no place to go. He picks at everything that my oldest does and I know he is just waiting to kick her out. She is a senior in school and she will not go live with her dad for when she is there it's not any better. If anyone has any advice please I need help.