[mujer_rota]

after our child was born i felt a little like my H was jealous of him. I was spending most of my time with our son nursin and bathing him and taking him to Dr. appointments. So, yes, absoluitely I was spending majority of my time with him. To this day my H has given him a total of 3 baths, changed maybe 20 diapers, taken him to no Dr. appointments, etc. He does play with our son more and is really starting to enjoy him at 1yr 4mo old. I love seeing the love in his eyes for our son and letting him take over at bed time to calm him down to sleep. But i wish he would just volunteer for bathtime or change his diaper without being asked. And when I do ask he just acts like he didn't hear me or says 'after my tv show' or 'in a minute'.

I sure as heck don't want to be up untill 11pm doing chores AND tending to our son everynight. And he feels like what he's doing is enough and says he will not change the way in which he spends time with our son. It makes me sad and also adds to the stress I already have from his non-participation with chores. Which is a whole other topic in itself that I may want to discuss at a later time.

[rosettastnd10]

I feel the same way! Lately, I've been thinking to myself how I feel like i'm just living with my H and his only job is to support us, instead of being apart of the family. He never wants to do anything family oriented, we talk about it sometimes though. He just likes to leave and go hang out with his buddies, which is okay sometimes but he doesn't let me do anything by myself. He changes his sons' diaper sometimes but he has never fed our 6mo. old baby girl since she was born! he is scared to change her because she's a girl! I don't mind taking them to there appointments because he works and I don't. And he usually pays more attention to the tv and watches our son out of the corner of his eye like... but every day I am up at night doing chores and tending to the children until they go to sleep for the night. they both sleep through the night.

Well I just wanted to let you know that I can relate, and I hope things get better for you, as in your husband wanting to help you more without being a grouch about it.

I wrote a thread in the Family and Parenting forum with the name rosettastnd about my similar troubles. For some reason my account got locked up and I can't make any more posts, so I made a new one and put 10 on the end.

[mujer_rota]

rosetta, I asked him today if he would read Five Love Languages with me, and he said "yea. ne thing that might help" Im being optimistic, so we will see...

thank you for the reply, maybe you could ask your H if he wants to be part of the family or just continue 'supporting' you all.. and suggest a book or something, a family activity?? From today on, I am going to be hands on about this whole thing. We used to be so in-touch with eachother and I just want that back...