Sister -inlaw issues
Well where do I start..
My brother has been married to my sister in law for 15 years and has 2 children ages 14 and 12. He is currently in Iraq as a contracted Fire Fighter (his choice) Our family has never really gotten along with her from the beginning and its not because of any fault of ours, she just doesnt like us, period. We have tried and tried over the years to get along with her but to no avail it just doesnt work. She is the kind of person that takes everything literally and harbors feelings forever, I mean for the rest of your life. She never lets things go always holds them inside. Most of the time its all about her family. Her parents spend tons of time with the kids as her mom babysits them while she is at work. Her family is far more important than ours. We have tried and tried to be involved, by calling and asking if the kids can come over and hang out, go out to dinner with us (including my parents and sister). Constantly trying but always get either ignored or "the kids" are to busy with their life. What..Your the parent the kids dont dictate how you run your life. This is the problem that has come up recently..My sister is getting married and wanted our niece and nephew to be included in the wedding, my sister has tried and tried over the last 2 weeks to contact them to take them to dinner to ask them to be in the wedding..She has called my sister in law numerous times, left messages, text and email..no replies. Finally she contacts my brother via email in Iraq and said "whats going on" I cant get ahold of anyone and know one call's back or even and email..this is his reply from his email to my sister..
Just wanted you to know that I called and talked to ***** yesterday and asked her to reply to you. I know you need to know things for your wedding. She is a teenager and has a lot of "other" priorities. She is not about to give up time to hang out with her Aunt to talk about her wedding. It sounds cold, but, it would almost be like you hanging with Aunt **** when you were 14 and talking about her wedding. She does not feel close to you and it has a lot to do with part of growing up and not developing a relationship. It can't be forced. Now, she has attitude to go along with it. Depending on what she has to say, consider her as not wanting to be in the wedding. I am sorry that I am not home to help in this situation. It really sucks. I do not know that me being home would have changed it either. I can not force her to do something she may not want to do. As far as seeing the kids..... I have tried to explain that to. They are busy. I like them busy. Hopefully, it keeps their minds occupied while I am gone. There is barely any relationship with you, Mom & Dad with **** and that leaks to the kids. Most of what **** does is for me. When I am home it's different, because I can stop by Mom & Dad's once in awhile. It's just the way it is. There has been a lot of hurtful things said and done over the years. No resolution has stuck. Something has always happened to bring it back to..... this is the way it's gonna be.
Please do not text, email or call ***** phone during school hours. If she leaves her phone on (which she shouldn't!) and a teacher hears it ring, she will get a detention and loose her scholarship. She will email you tonight (I think?). She is just like her Mom.... a little stubborn. And now getting an attitude. She is feeling pressured. She should not. She is 14. She has enough pressure.
As for ****, it's between you two. She told me she blocked your number and on Facebook. She was totally over-whelmed last week with everything (Dad surgery, Pat's accident, bills, kids, etc.) and got text, calls and Facebook stuff all about what you needed. She had enough. Like I said, this is between you two. I understand you had some things you needed, but, it can not be all about you. Especially on this day.
This really sucks! I hate it. I have no solution. Just to pray about it. Please be considerate on whatever you hear from ****. If you do not hear from her in the next day or two, let me know. I explained, that if she would have answered earlier, maybe this wouldn't have built up so far.
You know I love you. I want you and Nick to be very happy and make a family of your own and you will learn ALL about stuff like this!
Email me back when you get a chance.
So that should give you a good indication how limited our contact with my brothers kids are and the situation with my sister in law..its really hard because our hands are tied and we are at a loss as how to handle the problem she has with us..this is just a snip of what goes on....So if you have an suggestions please let me know..