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post #106 of 241 (permalink) Old 02-05-2014, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Kenji's journey

So we met with several outside agencies as well as working with the school - starting next month Kenji will be enrolled in intense swimming lessons and weight lifting training gear for kids of his abilities. All of this is to prepare him to compete in Special Olympics. However, it is mainly to see how these intense regimes might help to regulate his mental state of mind.

So much is now being touted in ASD circles about how proprioceptive feedback and muscle tone affect these kids mentally. We are still hoping to find ways to get around having to medicate him.

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post #107 of 241 (permalink) Old 02-05-2014, 04:39 PM
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Re: Kenji's journey

Drerio,

My eldest daughter is hearing impaired. It's not as great a challenge as what you are facing, but I know a bit how it feels. Sports make a big difference. The brain is very well stimulated by physical activity and challenges.

I saw a kid a coached in swimming today. He must be around 13 now. He was a real mess when I had him. He could not concentrate well. He is doing so much better. His dad was really worried, but he stuck by his son and the swimming is paying off.

I enjoy reading the political discussions we've been having. I think you have an open mind. Hope I do, too. I am learning stuff from the discussions: a little history, politics, current affair, technology, etc.
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post #108 of 241 (permalink) Old 02-05-2014, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Kenji's journey

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Drerio,

My eldest daughter is hearing impaired. It's not as great a challenge as what you are facing, but I know a bit how it feels. Sports make a big difference. The brain is very well stimulated by physical activity and challenges.

I saw a kid a coached in swimming today. He must be around 13 now. He was a real mess when I had him. He could not concentrate well. He is doing so much better. His dad was really worried, but he stuck by his son and the swimming is paying off.

I enjoy reading the political discussions we've been having. I think you have an open mind. Hope I do, too. I am learning stuff from the discussions: a little history, politics, current affair, technology, etc.
Thank you. I do try to be open minded. But, this is really my most important job, being a father to my two sons. I try, but often feel a failure.
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post #109 of 241 (permalink) Old 02-05-2014, 04:58 PM
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Re: Kenji's journey

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try, but often feel a failure.
I'm sorry you feel that way, I can't tell what to feel, you feel what you feel, but I hope you know that feeling is misguided.



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #110 of 241 (permalink) Old 02-05-2014, 05:12 PM
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Re: Kenji's journey

This is great news Drerio, what a fantastic way to focus Kenji and give him something that allows him to challenge himself and feel good about himself. I know how much Kenji was enjoying his workouts with you so have no doubt he will find the physical activity hugely beneficial. We all need physical release but teenage boys especially, IMO, really need it, their hormones are raging and it's not good for them to have pent up energy, they are much happier, confident, calm, focussed and do better at school when they participate in sports.

And what Charlie said is true, you are not a failure in any way shape or form. We all feel inadequate as parents at times, that's normal. Like I've said before, you and Mrs Drerio have done your absolute very best, more than most people are capable of doing, you are both amazing parents to your boys.
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post #111 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 01:51 AM Thread Starter
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Kenji's journey

Kenji is now in a powerlifting club at school. The hope is that in Summer 2015 he will be able to compete in powerlifting, Special Olympics.
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post #112 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 02:15 AM
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Re: Kenji's journey

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Kenji is now in a powerlifting club at school. The hope is that in Summer 2015 he will be able to compete in powerlifting, Special Olympics.


That's wonderful, drerio. He could probably practice at home with you too in your excellent home gym.
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post #113 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 08:45 AM Thread Starter
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That's wonderful, drerio. He could probably practice at home with you too in your excellent home gym.
We will be and, maybe since they have a professional (former Olympic powerlifter - one of the dads) trainer, Kenji may be able to give me some pointers.
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post #114 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 08:56 AM
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Re: Kenji's journey

Drerio, I don't think you realize how amazing of a person you truly are. You are such a good person, believe in that.

Pōmaika`i
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post #115 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 08:57 AM Thread Starter
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Drerio, I don't think you realize how amazing of a person you truly are. You are such a good person, believe in that.

Pōmaika`i
thank you

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post #116 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-05-2014, 09:00 AM
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thank you
A‘ole pilikia
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post #117 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 06:29 AM
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Re: Kenji's journey

That is very exciting news for Kenji, Drerio, I'm so pleased for him, I wish I could see him power-lifting, I can just imagine how happy he is!
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post #118 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-11-2014, 06:48 AM
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Congrats to Kenji! That is aweeeesome!
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post #119 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-31-2014, 06:56 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Kenji's journey

This last weekend was really tough, a weekend that makes me feel like I have failed as a father.

I can't even tell you what the trigger was, but something set Kenji off. He had a horrible meltdown. It triggered a violent reaction. He first went after my youngest son then my wife (Kenji has grown bigger than my wife). He had a look in his eyes as if he was not there. I want to say it was not him and possibly was not, but just lost it. I had to restrain him, hold him down physically. He is strong, but fortunately I was able to restrain him. He continued to kick and grab at me. His fingernails drew blood from me and his kicks put a hole in the hallway wall. My wife and youngest son crying and my oldest son pinned down eventually calming down complaining that I was hurting him.

I sat back after he calmed down and cried. He did not hurt me physically and walls can be patched (I did that yesterday), but somethings can't be healed. I just did not want him to hurt my wife or Ryo or himself. He said "let me go so I can stab myself". I don't know if I could or should have taken it seriously but I didn't want to find out so I kept him pinned down a little longer.

After it was all over and I cried, I sat with Kenji in his room with him. We sat there on the floor exhausted, not saying a word. Finally we started to talk. I apologized and wanted to know if he was ok. He apologized for the blood he drew and wall. I did not care about that, I felt horrible for possibly hurting him. I held him gently (lovingly) for the next 10 minutes, no more words uttered. My youngest took a shower, crying the whole time. That night we all slept in the same bed (even the dog). I felt horrible, I am a bad father, but I did not know what to do.

We don't want to put Kenji on medication, however we are scheduled as a family to seek Family counseling starting this Friday and we will see what our options will be. I hope we are doing the right thing.
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post #120 of 241 (permalink) Old 03-31-2014, 07:19 PM
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Kenji's journey

It sounds like you handled the situation very well D. I don't know what else you could have done.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Auerbach
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