[momof6girls]

kid prego... she has just turned 19 (i have posted before) she is with a looser (really not a mom talking) he is 23 and sleeps on friends and family couches and never had a job longer than 2 wks he has no ged dropped out at 10th and well ok enough on him you get the point.

she was great in school great grades (top 4 in her class) got a full scholarship to local college all paid for works at the bank for 2 years Dad co signed for a loan for her to get a car and all going well... till

she met her soul mate (mister a**) well dropped out of school because prego and needed to go full time (even though i have insurance on her) moved out with him in his friend appartment then what ever reason moved out of there to his moms basement and well sooo much more...o he has a warrent for drugs things... gets better and better

here is my question or problem.... she went for another low loan for him to get a car... says because he needs to get a better job and needs a co signer she asked her dad he said NO... well he used more H* what the * and oooo no. and so she came to me... now i am in a pickel because Well even if i could my hubby would flip if i did, and i really don't want to but want to see my grand kid.... she already talked at moms day about moving home she hates living at his moms.... but still loves him... but fights all the time with him but then talkes of marriage and ?? i know she is mixed up..

how do i say no with out being mean? or pushing her away or do i just say no and take her leaving and hope she comes back??/ i am so mixed up...

[Mommybean]

You just say no. Period. She will likely leave mad, but she will come back around when things get bad. He can use public transportation if he needs to get to work...I did it for years...

[momof6girls]

in my youth so did i and i walked alot to... and then had peices of crap to drive for yrs... you know the kind drive till they die and then get another one... mmmm

thanks for the input i needed to hear it.

[turnera]

OF COURSE you say no.

Good grief.

[Affaircare]

Originally Posted by momof6girls

...how do i say no with out being mean? or pushing her away or do i just say no and take her leaving and hope she comes back??/ i am so mixed up...

"Honey, part of growing up, moving out, choosing to have sex and the accompanying responsibilities of pregnancy is that you are taking on personal responsibility. That means that when you make a decision, you reap the benefits AND you reap the consequences. In this instance I will not co-sign a loan and put myself into debt for your decisions. This is part of the cost of choosing to be with someone who can not help you out financially, and I am so sorry, sweetie but no."

[momof6girls]

i told her no last night..... she had that upset sound in her voice we were on the phone but she said she understood then she had to go.

[turnera]

Good going.

fwiw, you have just TAUGHT her something very valuable: consequences.

It's the best way for kids and young adults to learn and improve themselves.