My parents hate my husband
Like many here, I have been under a huge amount of stress due to family issues.
I grew up in a loving family - only child - with parents who almost never fought. My husband - another only child - grew up in an abusive (both verbally and physically) ever-fighting family. Together, we live somewhere in the middle of those 2 extremes. Although we rarely argue, my husband tends to become verbally abusive when we do argue, thowing out insults like "you're an idiot, "I want a divorce", etc. While at first, I was deeply hurt by such insults, I have gotten used to it since our fighting is rare (maybe once a month or so).
To complicate matters, my husband pushed me to the ground about 2 years ago during a fight and then slapped me in the face. I made the mistake of telling this to my parents while I was upset. My husband has never repeated the incident and I was firm in telling him that if it happens again, I will be gone in 2 seconds flat.
I know my husband must sound like a complete jerk by now, but the large majority of the time he is loving, devoted, and is a good father to our 2 young children. He has a very good job and gives us everything we need materially. Yes, at times he is difficult to live with.
So, my big problem is that my parents hate my husband, and when everyone is together tensions run sky high. For me, it is so stressful and anxiety-producing that I feel I am going to loose my mind. Any negative remark that may come out of my husband's mouth may be rebutted with threats from my parents. I have told my parents to stay out of my relationship between me and my husband, but they tell me, "well, what would you do if your daughter were married to an abuser?" Sigh.
My mom likes to complain about everything my husband does (and doesn't do), and my dad always has an overly concerned look on his face each time I see him and asks me, "how is he treating you?" I am so sick of listening to this crap and it is really depressing.
When I ask my husband to "behave" better around my parents, he doesn't really understand what I am referring to. This is probably because he is already so much better behaved than his own parents. He is not really bad, but he is just not very socially appropriate. He chews and talks with his mouth open, attempts to make jokes nobody really thinks are funny, etc.
My parents' simple answer is to try to bring down my marriage; they seem to believe divorce is the simple answer. And they make it known how sorry they feel for my children who have to grow up with a jerk for a father. But, as I'm sure some of you here can agree, divorce is not a simple answer. Even if a divorce might make my life a little bit more peaceful, it would also bring a lot of destruction and hurt to my husband, me, and our 2 children. My children have a very good life - a big house, many expensive activities, private school, etc. My children love my husband very much and he is very kind to them. I both love my husband and dislike him at the same time (probably a normal state for many wives).
In any case, this post is long enough. I would just like to see if anyone else has experienced this type of situation or if anyone has any advice for me.