Husband is manipulating kids
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Old 06-23-2010, 10:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband is manipulating kids

I posted this on someone elses thread replying to her situation, but I decided to post it again here so I could get advise. I am new on this site and really need some help..............................

I have 2 girls one 9 and 1 - 6. They both talk to me disrespectfully. I know it is my fault because my husband and I constantly fight in front of them and they see how he desrespects me. I am at my witts end and am considering leaving. The problem now is that he has started to manipulate my 9 year old. He makes her do things she doesn't want to do - What I mean is that if she doesn't do what he wants he manipulates her into thinking she wants to do it! She played softball for a couple months, she hated it the entire time, but we wouldn't let her quit saying once you join something, you have to complete it. Now its over and traveling softball begins, she told me she didn't want to go - she hates it, i told him this and he had a hissy fit. Started yelling - what are the kids going to do all summer - she's a fat slob, and she's just going to sit around the house. I tried to say she is on the swim team, cheerleading and going to a reading comprehension class, but he didn't even hear it. She wasn't in the room when he called he a fat slob, but i know she heard him. Then he called her and had a private talk, next thing you know she is playing softball and blaming me for starting the argument. She said Mom, why do you always do this? I was stunned.....I said what do you mean? She said she wanted to play and he said I told her that he was forcing her. All I said was if you dont want to play tell your father that you dont want to play. I let it go. Then next morning i asked her are you playing or not - she said yes - I asked do you like it - she said -no- I said then why are you playing? She said so he would stop it and leave her alone. I said ok. We got ready for school and I asked both the girls a question " If you could change anything in your life what would it be?" My youngest said to eat junk food all day and then only have one healthy snack - STRAWBERRIES! - My oldest one said "TO BE SKINNY" - she's 9 - she shouldn't be thinking about that....should she! And he thinks she didn't hear him.....I dont know what to do. Im pissed!
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Old 07-13-2010, 09:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband is manipulating kids

Get the whole family into counseling yesterday. There is nothing emotionally mature or healthy going on in this family dynamic. If you don't figure something out, the kids are gonna have real problems.

That's my 2 cents.
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Old 07-13-2010, 11:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband is manipulating kids

You both may be manipulating your daughter.

He could be pressuring her to play. And you could be pressuring her to not play.

So she says "yes" to him. And she says "no" to you.

She tells each of you what you want to hear so you both will stop pressuring her.

Messed up.
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