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here is a hot topic where i live regarding sex and when kids are *suppose* to be ready, and i thought i would get some different points of view on the subject..
Now with my son we have always been very open about sex, where babies come from the female issues, masturbation, ect.. we have the " When he asks he is ready to know" we have never sugar coated anything with him, we have not used terms such as:
- "birds and bees it has always been boys and girls
-" The stork brings babies".. come on Really?
-" Aunt flow"- Nope its PERIOD from HELL and we explain WHY it happens
and so you get the drift, and IMHO Hubby and I are very open about telling him about safe sex as well, he just turned 16 and we have been thinking about getting him condoms b/c we feel he needs to be prepared IF/When it happens..
So far he has been very responsible and has told us about parties he would like to attend and has told me that a few parties he has not gone to b/c there have been drinking and smoking going on. I am so proud of how well we have raised him, he has talked about wanting to try drinking and such, but in the home... FYI my parents were also open with us and allowed us to "experience" life at home ( IE have sex drink and smoke at home) and we turned out just fine
So, when it comes down to it how do you all handle dealing with "the Talk" LOL
Well, my boys are only 9 & 7, so I haven't had to face condoms yet. And although I hate the thought of buying my sons condoms, I hate the thought of driving them for a midnight run for diapers even more. So, I will be teaching my sons about safe sex, definitely, and about how birth control is their responsibility as well as hers and that unless they are ready and able to have and take care of a baby, they better wear a condom. And if I have to, yes I will buy them condoms. I will probably make their dad do it, though, if I can get away with it. lol
My 16yr son started dating so we make sure he has condoms, My wife has talked to him, but I haven't.
I know I suck, but I just throw the box on the bed. I quess I'm figuring its all self explainitory. Bad dad
It seems to me that part of the education should be that if you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to buy condums. If it makes you giggle to have to go to the store (or better yet Planned Parenthood where they are free) to get them, then you are not ready for sex. But that's me.
My wife and I will be taking a 3 pronged approach with our boys and our girl.
1. We are very open about human sexuality, and we are not afraid to talk (and will talk) about masturbation, sex, etc. Our 2 eldest boys already understand where babies come from and how they are born as they have seen my wife pregnant twice. Our kids also know their parents have sex, as we do not try to hide it like thief's in the night.
2. We are going to try and teach abstinence is the best policy. But, we are realists and we know that neither of us followed that path very well either. We will teach and push safe sex very hardly though. For our kids w will have condoms available in their bathroom drawer. They will be refilled "no questions asked" by us.
3. Once our girl is old enough we will offer her the choice to go on birth control. We won't FORCE her, but I know my wife and I would both feel much better if she is on BC. We don't want her on pills though, as like a copper IUD, or ring or something like that would be best so she doesn't have to remember to take the pills.
Way back when in '64 or so I was enjoying my first love. My father, knowing this, gave me a number of condoms. Although some of my peers in HS were clearly having sex, we never did. Much of the evidence for teen sex was in the form of pregnancies.
In 1964 condoms were not displayed in drug stores and supermarkets, you had to ask the pharmacist, a very difficult experience for this shy guy. I was very grateful to my Dad.
I didn't give any to my kids, they knew everything and were well prepared. I have no idea when they first needed them, if I did I wouldn't say, but if my memory of a 7th grade dance in the mid 80s is accurate, a good third of the girls wanted sex later that night - I could not believe how provocative these 12 and 13 year olds were and how much younger the boys were, my kids among them.
The girls were dressed to the nines, if I didn't know many of them from nursery school on and weren't able to see them closely I would have guessed they were well over 16. Some dressed like hookers and used almost as much makeup. My wife was also astonished.
It was difficult enough seeing girls in HS in a day when "proper" dress was a requirement before the advent of the mini. I don't understand how boys manage to get through a day in a co-ed school in 2010 without exploding.
My 16yr son started dating so we make sure he has condoms, My wife has talked to him, but I haven't.
I know I suck, but I just throw the box on the bed. I quess I'm figuring its all self explainitory. Bad dad
Wow. Couldn't you at least have said "I hope you don't just go out and scr*w every girl who will let you; have some honor"?
Wow. Couldn't you at least have said "I hope you don't just go out and scr*w every girl who will let you; have some honor"?
I don't really understand the reticence to talk about sex. My 10 and 7 year old know as much as they have been interested in asking about. We have a copy of "It's So Amazing" lying around the house. My son started asking about it after a Star Trek movie in which Auhura was attempting to lure guards away from her post with her nearly naked form.
The other day we were careless and did not have the door locked in the am. It was earlier than the kids would normally be up. DS came in, saw us, left. He asked DH gee I guess that is really none of my business, huh? For me to ask about? DH got kinda flustered. I said, well I think you know what that was, right? He said you were having sex? I said yes. I asked if he had any questions...
2. We are going to try and teach abstinence is the best policy. But, we are realists and we know that neither of us followed that path very well either. We will teach and push safe sex very hardly though. For our kids w will have condoms available in their bathroom drawer. They will be refilled "no questions asked" by us.
This is the approach I took with my boys and, knock on wood, 18 and 21 with no grandbabies. YAY My girls are 12 and 10. We openly discuss sex and body changes as they want to know or I feel they need to know.
I have to say tho, condoms while maybe not as effective against pregnancy would be my choice for my girls as well. Birth control pills have side effects that can vary person to person and don't protect against STDs. Kids don't worry about those things like they should. Just drive in front of a school and see how many even look before they cross the street. They're invisible! Or so they think! An IUD has those same issues in addition to a greater risk of infection that could affect her future reproductive life.
Hmmm... Too bad I can't just ground them until they're 30! lol
WOW thanks for all the positive outlooks on this subject
As for my son, he has not asked for any yet, but, when he does i will use the "refill with no questions asked".. and i do agree that condoms are not 100% fool proof, but, at least they will keep the chances a little bit lower.. and i would hope that the girl he was having sex with has some kind of BC, because we ALL know that it takes 2 to make a baby...
We also did tell my son that IF he did get a girl Pregnant, that we would support him 100% and *IF* the girls parents were not supportive, we would allow him and the girl to move in with us. BUT we dont have to worry about that just yet...
Our son has always been honest with us, and i thank my lucky stars that he is.
what are your thoughts about teenage pregnancy? i was curious to see what others thought? Does it come back to the parents not being responsible? or is it 100% the teens fault?
In my opinion i think sex should be taught both at home and in schools, because, i dont want my son learning about sex on the streets, we inform him of the right information
I don't really understand the reticence to talk about sex. My 10 and 7 year old know as much as they have been interested in asking about. We have a copy of "It's So Amazing" lying around the house. My son started asking about it after a Star Trek movie in which Auhura was attempting to lure guards away from her post with her nearly naked form.
The other day we were careless and did not have the door locked in the am. It was earlier than the kids would normally be up. DS came in, saw us, left. He asked DH gee I guess that is really none of my business, huh? For me to ask about? DH got kinda flustered. I said, well I think you know what that was, right? He said you were having sex? I said yes. I asked if he had any questions...
We also did tell my son that IF he did get a girl Pregnant, that we would support him 100% and *IF* the girls parents were not supportive, we would allow him and the girl to move in with us. BUT we dont have to worry about that just yet...
While my kids know I would be there for them no matter what and no matter how badly they messed up. I don't make it sound like I would make it easy or even tolerable for them.
I told my boys if they got a girl pregnant prior to being 18 I would have to kill them and that I really didn't want to do that. They laughed. I told them no, I'm serious. It makes perfect sense and I explained that if they're under 18 I could be responsible for their child support. If they are dead the child support comes from social secuirty and I get to just enjoy the grandbaby!
They knew I was kidding. They knew they could always come to me and, while I would have done what I could to help them accept the consequences and responsibility, they never would have thought I would make it easy for them.
While my kids know I would be there for them no matter what and no matter how badly they messed up. I don't make it sound like I would make it easy or even tolerable for them.
I told my boys if they got a girl pregnant prior to being 18 I would have to kill them and that I really didn't want to do that. They laughed. I told them no, I'm serious. It makes perfect sense and I explained that if they're under 18 I could be responsible for their child support. If they are dead the child support comes from social secuirty and I get to just enjoy the grandbaby!
They knew I was kidding. They knew they could always come to me and, while I would have done what I could to help them accept the consequences and responsibility, they never would have thought I would make it easy for them.
You sound just like me lol to funny, i love having and open honest relationship with my son.
oh i threaten my sons life ALL the time LMAO, i tell him if he does once, i will kill him too. I so wont make it easy for him, i remind him all the time how it took 3 days of agonizing pain and torture for him to be born.. LOL, sometimes i will be watching those pregnancy shows, and he will walk in and be like "Mom, what the hell are you watching?" LOL..
dont get me wrong i will not make it easy for him either, i will just be there to soften the blows a little, like my mom did. He still has to get a job or support the girl and the baby. and the girl will too... i hoping it does not happen before i am 40 ( my mom cursed me and said it would LOL b/c i made her a grandma bfore she was 40), but, i will be prepared come senior year that there may be a chance.
Alas, too many people think that if you talk to kids about sex or even about birth control, that it is a green light to go ahead and start having sex with anyone. I don't want to make that mistake with my daughter, and the W and I agree that we will be very open and frank with her, and we always reassure her that she can always come to us for anything. And one thing I'm concerned about is that a lot of young men don't even know how to properly put on a condom! So, when the talk about that comes along, I will have a condom and a banana ready! LOL!
Oh, geez, am I crazy or what?
buying Condoms for 16 yr old son/daughter.... 
Re: buying Condoms for 16 yr old son/daughter.... 
