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My name is Anna. I have two beautiful children, Fiona and Felicia, twin girls, both ten. I recently bought a laptop for each child seeing as how they have shown me they are ready. I set them up, security and the works, and went downstairs. Their computers were in their rooms, but I wasn't worried. An hour or so later I came upstairs to find their door open just enough to peek inside. I was disgusted by what I saw: both my girls watching pornography. And if that wasn't bad enough, the title read: BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BANGED BY BURLY DADDY. I was absolutely mortified. I ran down the stairs and informed my husband, who didn't believe me. I told him to go look for himself. He got off the couch and went upstairs. He opened the bedroom door. The girls were on National Geographic, like they were sweet angels, when I knew they were watching porn. Fiona took one look at my husband, glanced at Felicia and smirked. What should I do?
Go to the history of laptop, it will show the history of the websites that they been through. You can prove it to your husband by showing him the history list. Also, you need to set the laptop in the living room, kitchen or dining room where you can monitor what they are doing. I would be mortified myself because I recently caught my 7 year old son watching porn sites. Thanks to a wonderful advice from this site, I was able to resolve the problem.
You say "security and the works" but obviously you didn't put Web protection on there. Install the 100% free program called K9 Web Protection available from their website. I have used it for years and am a billion percent happy with the results. It blocks every thing you want it to and is completely customizable.
You obviously missed something in the security settings, or your girls are smart enough to have already figured out how to disable the security settings. Either way, the laptops need to be in a common room where the entire family can see what they are doing. At this point, I don't know that it's really worth looking in the history and trying to prove it to your husband. I think, at age ten, this was mostly curiosity, nothing more. Putting them in a common room where they can't get away with it as easily should curb it. Doublecheck the security settings, add more security if it turns out they did disable it, and start checking things on a regular basis. Check what they are doing while they are doing it, and check the history when they are done. Don't let them set their own passwords on there, and disable anything other than the bare limits of what they need/are allowed to do.
If you find that they have done it again, even in the common room, then you take proof in the history and show your husband, and you two determine together how to deal with the issue. If it were me, it would be dealt with by explaining to them why it's inappropriate for them to be watching porn, telling them if they have any questions about sex they should come to me or their father and we will be happy to answer those questions, and that they are losing the computers for X amount of time as a result of their behavior. When they get them back, I'd be even more on top of things to ensure it doesn't happen anymore.
My name is Anna. I have two beautiful children, Fiona and Felicia, twin girls, both ten. I recently bought a laptop for each child seeing as how they have shown me they are ready. I set them up, security and the works, and went downstairs. Their computers were in their rooms, but I wasn't worried. An hour or so later I came upstairs to find their door open just enough to peek inside. I was disgusted by what I saw: both my girls watching pornography. And if that wasn't bad enough, the title read: BEAUTIFUL BLONDE BANGED BY BURLY DADDY. I was absolutely mortified. I ran down the stairs and informed my husband, who didn't believe me. I told him to go look for himself. He got off the couch and went upstairs. He opened the bedroom door. The girls were on National Geographic, like they were sweet angels, when I knew they were watching porn. Fiona took one look at my husband, glanced at Felicia and smirked. What should I do?
Liveloverainbows,
I agree with all the advice that has been given to you. I think that putting the pc in a common area and establishing the security settings are key. There is something that bothers me, however. I am not trying to be hard on you because this is hard enough for you. But when you first looked in and saw your daughters looking at porn, why did you not enter the room and confront them right then? Catching them in the act and then bringing your husband in after catching them would have negated the whole "my husband didn't believe me" thing. Anyway, I guess I am saying that you will need to be more proactive about addressing this. As a parent, you know that the margin for error (especially for little girls) is very slim. Good luck!
Thank you. I have moved both computers into the living room. I can see them from either the kitchen or the living room. I have double checked the settings and they did disable it, however, I have set a password that neither of them would figure out. I am debating whether or not to purchase Netnanny. I do not think it is needed now, but if it is in the future, I surely will purchase it.
My kids and I are always in the same room on our computers. Only at 16 was my daughter allowed to have a laptop in her room and her door is open and I'll often be in there keeping an eye on things.
Never let younger kids have complete privacy. These days, 10 years are quite "computer literate" and can bypass a lot of filters, etc. They can also delete their computer's browsing history, cookies, etc, etc.
Plus, you might want to look upon this as an opportunity to discuss WHY they were so intent on checking out porn sites instead of coming down on them like a ton of bricks. I think you need to be dialed in more to your kids. If not, it's going to get worse when they hit their teens.
It's normal to be curious about sex, they were probably just curious about what it was. Running and getting your husband in a big commotion is probably the last thing you should do. It doesn't mean they're going to be sex fiends, or have some twisted fantasy for your husband (if that's why you're stating the title), just quietly, for no other reason than "I want to use it too!" - move the computer out of their room and to a visible area.
It's a huge mistake to leave a computer in any child's room, a bigger reason than porn is because you don't know who they may be talking to on it.
Anyway, the bigger question is - where did they hear about porn?!
Thank you. I have moved both computers into the living room. I can see them from either the kitchen or the living room. I have double checked the settings and they did disable it, however, I have set a password that neither of them would figure out. I am debating whether or not to purchase Netnanny. I do not think it is needed now, but if it is in the future, I surely will purchase it.
You have 2 10 year old children, doing porn, lying to their father (who backs them up), and you don't think it's needed????
You should be logging everything they are doing, and YOU as their parent should learn how to do that NOW, before computers are bought for the girls or you don't buy them and allow them to use it. You are going to wait for a predator to get them and then start using the software.
You can either setup their laptops in the living room or you can also use some services like K9web protection that will ensure you to restrict these kinda sites on sytems..
and if talk about the previous of your story you can show your husband the history of the laptop...so that he comes to know that you are not lying...
It's normal to be curious about sex, they were probably just curious about what it was. Running and getting your husband in a big commotion is probably the last thing you should do. It doesn't mean they're going to be sex fiends, or have some twisted fantasy for your husband (if that's why you're stating the title), just quietly, for no other reason than "I want to use it too!" - move the computer out of their room and to a visible area.
It's a huge mistake to leave a computer in any child's room, a bigger reason than porn is because you don't know who they may be talking to on it.
Anyway, the bigger question is - where did they hear about porn?!
This is so well said. Parents get freaked out when they find children touching themselves or looking at porn. I agree that some behaviors (sexual abuse or beastiality) are frightening and require special help. A ten year old might already be feeling the first whispers of puberty. Everyone knows that adolescence is a very sexual time. Posted via Mobile Device
Although myself or my husband do not watch born, online or off, together or alone. That has always been a fear of mine. Our kids being active on the net and stumbling across porn. Eeek!
My son once tried to Google "Teen Titans" -a cartoon but he was only 8 at the time, and typed in ''Teen Tits'' lol I was mortified. I was crying, even called my hubby at work to tell him.
They didn't see much before I saw what happened. Suffice to say, I now have a safe search feature on my browsers.
It's curiosity, my oldest boy racked up my cable bill to 700$ on 9.99 movies (you can guess what 9.99 movies are) 2 yrs ago.
Disciplined him appropriately, made him pay every cents back through working it off in the house and with family. Moved on, hasn't done it since. We also used the opportunity to discuss it with him and used it as a learning tool.
You have 2 10 year old children, doing porn, lying to their father (who backs them up), and you don't think it's needed????
You should be logging everything they are doing, and YOU as their parent should learn how to do that NOW, before computers are bought for the girls or you don't buy them and allow them to use it. You are going to wait for a predator to get them and then start using the software.
Be proactive please.
Holy ... relax there. She is being proactive, she's right there and has the systems where she can see them using them. I find more and more parents are disconnecting from actual parenting by using software and hardware instead...
True parenting is getting in there and actually being present, not relying on a piece of software like netnanny. It give a sense of false security to most people. Oh, the netnanny is on the laptop, I don't have to worry... These kids were able to disable a browser security setting, they are smart - you don't think they can find ways around a netnanny program or other security features?
A parent must take physical, emotional, mental and spiritual responsibility for their children and for their parenting of those children. She has done that.
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Ten Year Olds Caught Watching Pornography 
