Why don't you just build a tower and lock her away? Or how about those things called chastity belts? I hear they work really well. You can get those things with spikes too. Maybe some handcuffing to the bed or wall is in order? And make sure you have a gun ready to shoot the boyfriend should he come lurking around?
Yeah, this is sarcasm.
Holy crap! Nowhere do I see ANYTHING that isn't normal behavior for a 15 year old teenage girl. Weren't you a teenager once? Didn't you date before the age of 21? Did your daughter and her boyfriend even HAVE sex or are you just assuming they did because they were doing some inappropriate "sexting"?
Have you sat and discussed sex and appropriate dating behavior and birth control with your daughter without coming off like a prison warden or storm trooper? You are acting like your daughter is committing a crime by being a normal human being! OF COURSE she is going to sneak around! I'd do the same bloody thing!
Have you actually given her the respect and consideration she deserves as a young adult she will eventually become and given her some constructive guidance as a fellow female and mother, instead of acting like a police interrogator?
Seems like what you've done with your insane behavior is driven her away and now you are here playing "poor poor pitiful parent who has a horrid teenage daughter".
Well, to be blunt, you are pitiful because your parenting skills stink when it comes to your teenager. It's time to stop treating your daughter like she's 3 years old and realize that in a few short years she'll be an adult and when she turns 18 then legally she won't have to answer to you. At the rate your going you'll be lucky if she doesn't come home pregnant! At this point, you've almost assured yourself of having NO real relationship with her other than an adversarial one. Congrats on job well done!
How embarrassing can you get that you are actually having confrontation with the boyfriend's PARENTS? I pray that my son doesn't meet up with a girl with parents like you!
Parenting isn't about running your child's life. It's about teaching your child about proper morals and values and ultimately imbuing them with a sense of responsibility and values so that they can conduct themselves properly and live independently as adults! That is what the REAL and ultimate goal of parenting is, especially during these critical teenage years.
Now your daughter is obviously very attached to this boy, whether YOU like it or not. And if it's not this boy, trust me, there WILL be others! And there will be friends that you don't approve of too. She might even marry a man you don't like as well! THIS is a fact of life that any parent has to deal with and accept unless you actually do plan to lock her away in a cage or drive her away to the point where you don't even have a relationship with her at all.
Your job as a parent is not to dictate with whom she becomes involved. Your job is to raise her properly so that SHE can ultimately make the right choices and decisions about who it is she becomes intimately involved with. Get it?
Do you have respect or regard for your daughter's feelings as an independent human being or do you regard her as an object that you have lost control of and now you are bound and determined to do WHATEVER it takes to "fix" it until she conforms to your expectations and standards?
Ok, before you say blow me off as someone who can't relate to you let me tell you that I am indeed the mother of two teenagers...One is a 16 year old girl and the other is a 13 year boy. Oh my, the troubles I must have, the horrors of it all! Well guess what? I don't seem to be having any such problems with my kids.
My daughter was indeed in the SAME situation as your daughter is now. At age 14 as a freshman in high school, she was dating a boy two years older. She went out with him for over a year. I remember the day he asked her out over Facebook. I was sitting right next to her on my computer (all our computers are in the SAME room) and she was so happy! She kept saying how nice he was. I said "I don't know this boy but I do know you and I trust in your judgement, so I know he must be as nice as you say".
Guess what? He is a great guy. They are still friends and he's was and still is welcome at our house. And you know what?...She's STILL a virgin. She still has a her cellphone and her laptop and is on Facebook (and she often shows me her pictures and friends on it and I do NOT feel the need to be her "friend" on Facebook or check up on her cellphone messages). She is an honor student at her school and every Thursday I drive her to a Christian Youth Group that she loves and wants to go to.
Anyone she dates or is friends with is ALWAYS welcome in our house and they often come here and hang out. Her friends and dates often sit in the living room and watch TV and even go upstairs to her room (with the door open) and play music and hang out. Her old boyfriend and her used to play computer games in our office with both me and my husband there and seemed happy and comfortable with that.
Amazingly enough my daughter has never felt the need to climb out of windows and run away or lie and sneak around. She is downstairs now doing homework with her girlfriend and they are waiting for the girlfriend's boyfriend and another guy she is now dating to come over so they can go out and get pizza. Life seems rather normal here. How is that so?
I'll tell you how: It's because when MY daughter was starting to get interested in boys (which is perfectly NORMAL at age 14) I sat down with her and talked about dating, boys, birth control and told her what I expected from her and what she could expect from me. I told her that when she decided to become sexual she should let me know and we would make the proper arrangements with regards to birth control. She knows all about communicable diseases, etc, etc.
She is open and honest and we talk about boys, dating and sex all the time together. Dating and sex aren't looked upon as sins or evil but as NORMAL behavior that we ALL engage in. I TRUST my daughter. Shes a great girl. Why shouldn't I? Does we always agree? No, but that's to be expected. I look upon her as a PERSON, not something I own and control.
Oh...She also tells me about all the crazy and controlling parents that her friends have and how they avoid going home and lie and sneak around because they are afraid of their parents freaking out and going nuts about every little thing they do. Does that sound familiar? And where do these kids hang out? Well, I see lots of them until all hours of the night at the park or on street corners but fortunately my daughters and her friends feel comfortable to come here to my house and hang out. They are always made to feel welcome and I do my best to give them the space and respect that they deserve and need.
So you need to realize that it's not your daughter that's the problem but YOU. You need to get with the program and MY ADVICE to you is to cut this crap out and start treating your daughter like a human being and realize that teenagers want and NEED to act independently of their parents.
It's perfectly fine to make REASONABLE rules and restrictions (I myself have quite a few imposed on my kids). If she's doing something you don't approve of you do NOT freak out and act like a crazy idiot but you sit down and calmly and rationally explain WHY you feel as you do and relate to your daughter as a HUMAN BEING..not an OBJECT that you own. Get it?
You are an example of the misguided, overprotective, "helicopter" parents that so many these days have become. It's time to start to get a reality check or else she is going to move so far away from you when it comes time to go college that you'll be saying "Merry Christmas" via email and be lucky if you see her once a year.
If you make some constructive changes to YOURSELF and start to respect her growing independence and you just might be able to salvage a relationship with her. It's up to you. Take a step back, breathe deep and get some oxygen into that brain of yours and chill OUT and stop thinking about doing stupid things like pulling her out of school, homeschooling, etc. Talk about beating a mosquito to death with a sledgehammer.. This is ALL your fault and you have to accept this and fix yourselves and readjust your own attitudes and actions.