another in law thread

major misfit · 02-01-2011, 03:20 AM

I'm not married to my SO, though I have every intention of remaining with him for the rest of my life. My reasons for not marrying are many and varied, and probably make no sense to anyone but me.

My "MIL" has cancer, and my SO's stepfather has been seriously ill for years. She is now pushpushpushing us to get married. She knows how I feel about it, I've never made any bones about it. I love and care about this woman, and don't want to hurt her feelings..but I'm not going to get married just b/c they want us to.

I just don't know how to tell HER that. Especially right now.

827Aug · 02-01-2011, 05:43 AM

Perhaps this is a talk which would be better for your SO to have with his mother. How does your SO feel about the issue? Is he 100% with you on this, or does he give his mother mixed messages?

major misfit · 02-08-2011, 06:28 AM

He is totally with whatever I want to do. He's said he would marry me tomorrow if that's what I want, but is just as happy to just "be". He doesn't push. What is important to him is that we're together, not HOW we do so.

I guess he's going to have to talk to her. I keep avoiding the subject, or just say "not gonna happen" when it's mentioned. I just don't like feeling like I'm hassled like this. It's never been an issue before, I don't understand why it is now. Just b/c they want to see another wedding in the family? Maybe I need to ask her myself WHY it's now so important to her. Yeesh.