Bed wetting - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-09-2011, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
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Smile Bed wetting

Amongst the many troubling issues in my childhood, the most extreme was CHRONIC bed wetting! This started at about 5 and went on for many years - up to the time I began having nocturnal erections which made it harder to urinate without waking up.
My parents tried everything: spanking, ridiculing, threatening, scolding, LECTURING, no or less water, many doctors, getting me up all night to "go", RUBBER SHEETS, shaming by school kids and teachers, contempt from my siblings, washing my own bedding and millions of handkerchiefs (I also had serious sinus issues!). It was the most horrible time of my and my parents lives!!!!
Not that I know it all but, now I understand it all!
No doctor or other adult would have ever suggest to my parents that their bad relationship and the extreme stress in our family MIGHT have something to do with my "condition" and that I was somewhat like a PSTD victim of the discontent and unhappiness in our family, which was there even before I was born!
Now I see that most of my nocturnal dreams, imaginings and frequent NIGHT MARES were all directly related to the fear, anger and unhappy stress in our family PUT THERE BY OUR PARENTS! I wonder how many of you are struggling with this issue and have no idea WHY your kids are doing this TO YOU?
Teachers sent me home with notes telling my parents that I need a bath 'cos I REEKED OF PEE! We were somewhat poor and didn't have hot running water all the time up in Washington state! There was many types of parental NEGLECT in our family. I always had jittery nerves but no one would have ever associated that with family stress! They didn't believe in PTSD back then! In those days, parents could do no wrong so I had to be the whole and total cause of all this misery and inconvenience to everyone in both my family and in our relative's families where I was NOT WELCOME OVER NIGHT!
A solution to my bed wetting was never found so I just out grew it!
For what it's worth to any of you struggling with this, look to your selves and your behaviors, attitudes, unhappiness, insecurities, fear, anger and ISSUES in your marriage to see if your kid is just reacting to the stress that you - not your kid - have created in your home and your child's life before you rush off to get help to FIX your kid. FIX your marriage first and see how you kid does after that.
I wish you and mostly your kids much success and happiness in getting rid of bed wetting and the stress that may be causing it.

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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-09-2011, 07:02 PM
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Arrow Therapy my dear?

Jim, you have started many threads ranting about your childhood. Have you thought of attending therapy? It is not fair to assume that all the parents on TAM are like yours. In fact, most of the parents on this forum are normal and not psycho abusers like you and I had.

I had abusive parents too. I have a therapist and I refuse to discuss as often as I did before. I am nearly 30 years old! It is time for me to figure out how I am going to live well, instead of huddling behind the victimization.

I will admit that I have also mentioned my abusive childhood more than once here, but I am trying not to do that in a way that can be perceived as whiny. I use my experiences to help others and let them see that I can contribute to the discussion because of what I have survived.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-09-2011, 07:34 PM Thread Starter
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Smile Re: Therapy my dear?

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Originally Posted by Mrs.G View Post
Jim, you have started many threads ranting about your childhood. Have you thought of attending therapy? It is not fair to assume that all the parents on TAM are like yours. In fact, most of the parents on this forum are normal and not psycho abusers like you and I had.

I had abusive parents too. I have a therapist and I refuse to discuss as often as I did before. I am nearly 30 years old! It is time for me to figure out how I am going to live well, instead of huddling behind the victimization.

I will admit that I have also mentioned my abusive childhood more than once here, but I am trying not to do that in a way that can be perceived as whiny. I use my experiences to help others and let them see that I can contribute to the discussion because of what I have survived.
Thanks for sharing. Got anything to say about the string topic?
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Bed wetting

It's puzzling to me that nobody wanted to discuss the issue of bed wetting other than a member who wanted to personally attack me but had NOTHING to offer about the topic.
Is this topic really that DISTURBING? Is bed wetting no longer an issue in most if not ALL families? Or is this issue, like sex and over eating just TOO HOT to handle? Hmmmmmm........I wonder where all the struggling parents are regarding the issue of bed wetting and it's causes? Is this really such a SHAMEFUL & SHAMING subject???

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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 04:37 PM
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Re: Bed wetting

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Originally Posted by jimrich View Post
It's puzzling to me that nobody wanted to discuss the issue of bed wetting other than a member who wanted to personally attack me but had NOTHING to offer about the topic.
Is this topic really that DISTURBING? Is bed wetting no longer an issue in most if not ALL families? Or is this issue, like sex and over eating just TOO HOT to handle? Hmmmmmm........I wonder where all the struggling parents are regarding the issue of bed wetting and it's causes? Is this really such a SHAMEFUL & SHAMING subject???
Bed wetting in children can be one of two things. One has a theorized genetic component, one is emotional/mental stress and trauma.

The genetic component is called "small bladder syndrome". It is much more common than people think it is.

Most call it a childhood phase. The problem arises in the fact that bladder grows slower than other organs. Smaller means less hold capacity which means some children can't make it through the night without keeping dry (sic bed wetting).

My children all had this medical issue, their father was the same as a child. Their bladders finally grew and developed enough around the 8 year mark to keep dry through night. Their father was 12 when the issue resolved.

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 04:37 PM
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Re: Bed wetting

Well, it DOES explain a few things................................

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

Our R
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 04:53 PM
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Re: Bed wetting

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Well, it DOES explain a few things................................
Solid gold find right there.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 05:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Bed wetting

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Their father was 12 when the issue resolved.
My wetting stopped at about 11 y.o. after I began having nocturnal erections which blocks urine flow and would help me wake up from my comfortable dreams to go to the pot.
The "small bladder" thing makes a lot of sense and I wish someone had known that back in our day. Oh well......
Thanks for mentioning this which may explain why so few folks need to discuss this anymore now that an explanation and solution has been found.

choose happiness
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-14-2016, 05:35 PM
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Re: Bed wetting

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My wetting stopped at about 11 y.o. after I began having nocturnal erections which blocks urine flow and would help me wake up from my comfortable dreams to go to the pot.
The "small bladder" thing makes a lot of sense and I wish someone had known that back in our day. Oh well......
Thanks for mentioning this which may explain why so few folks need to discuss this anymore now that an explanation and solution has been found.
Jim with all your talk of the afterlife and people coming back from the dead along with all your zombie thread resurrections I won't be the least bit surprised if I wake up tonight in a puddle of peepee.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-15-2016, 10:53 AM
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Re: Bed wetting

The kidneys only produce urine very slowly when we fall asleep. But with most children who wet the bed, those signals sent to the kidneys to slow down don't get sent. Children sleep very very deeply and as such if their bladders continue to fill while asleep, at the rate during awake hours, the child will wet the bed.

Wth some children bed wetting is a sign of emotional distress and that should be the first thing parents look to, especially when a previously dry bed is more often wet. But this is the least likely cause of bed wetting.

I'm sorry your parents provided such a traumatic childhood and even sorrier that they punished and blamed you for your innocent and helpless response to the trauma they provided. While the anger is a natural reaction, now that you're an adult you are responsible for your emotional health, not your parents. As such, it is imperative that you learn better coping skills or you will be continuing the dysfunction your parents planted in you. Don't give them that head space, they don't deserve it.


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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 12-15-2016, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Bed wetting

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Wth some children bed wetting is a sign of emotional distress and that should be the first thing parents look to, LOL, yet very few do as that would mean taking some responsibility (not BLAME!) for what the parents are doing or NOT doing that is now CAUSING their kid(s) to wet. especially when a previously dry bed is more often wet. But this is the least likely cause of bed wetting. IMO and experience, this is the most likely form of Denial and Rationalization that MOST parents will turn to in order to escape any responsibility for what they are doing to their little victims. Parents have long been guilty of looking for and FINDING any excuse or dodge possible to look innocent & good while doing lots of damage!

I'm sorry your parents provided such a traumatic childhood and even sorrier that they punished and blamed you for your innocent and helpless response to the trauma they provided. Thank you.

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