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How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
I was at a one year olds birthday party this past weekend, and all the women were chatting about babies. My 7 year old boy asked me "How are babies made in a girl?" Oh boy! Obviously this is too young for me to explain right? I told him babies grow from an egg inside of a woman, and that when two people love each other very much, and they get together, they can make a baby.. he said "But how?" I told him it was a conversation I would have with him when he was a bit older.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by Mom#2Bliss
I was at a one year olds birthday party this past weekend, and all the women were chatting about babies. My 7 year old boy asked me "How are babies made in a girl?" Oh boy! Obviously this is too young for me to explain right? I told him babies grow from an egg inside of a woman, and that when two people love each other very much, and they get together, they can make a baby.. he said "But how?" I told him it was a conversation I would have with him when he was a bit older.
How old is old enough for this conversation?
He asked. It is not too young. Keep it where he wants to know. Simple and straight to the point. Clear and honest. And lest you are unaware, love has nothing to do with making babies. People need to know this so that they don't accidentally make babies thinking somehow love is involved in biology.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
Take him to the pet store and let him watch the gerbils.
Ohhhhh, the drama when our convent school on top of allowing boys in as day students, got a male science teacher who had the gall to acquire a male and female gerbil. :-o
My kids have chickens and at age 10 and 7 they understand mating. It's a little less traumatic since the male parts aren't so scary and gerbils and chickens are less drama queens than say the big cats at the zoo. Or as weird as dogs.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
Thank you Homemaker #1 the animal thing might help him understand, and him seeing animals mate would be less traumatic I think than trying to explain the human way. Gosh I guess because he is the youngest, my baby...I feel like he's too young.
Thank you Mom6547, and I'm completely aware that love has nothing to do with actually making a baby. However, it is our belief that 2 people should be in love before having sex, and definately before conceiving a child. Therefore, I want him to understand there should be a relationship preferably marriage before making a baby. Our belief, maybe not yours, and either one is ok.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
There's no reason for details until at least, puberty. You probably tell your kids little white lies about the easter bunny and Santa, so it certainly can't hurt to let kids keep their innocence and tell them little white lies about pregnancy.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by Mom#2Bliss
Thank you Homemaker #1 the animal thing might help him understand, and him seeing animals mate would be less traumatic I think than trying to explain the human way. Gosh I guess because he is the youngest, my baby...I feel like he's too young.
Thank you Mom6547, and I'm completely aware that love has nothing to do with actually making a baby.
I was poking fun. I hope I did not offend.
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However, it is our belief that 2 people should be in love before having sex, and definately before conceiving a child.
That is a decent belief. I remember growing up with the same beliefs. ANd having friends who did not understand the relationship between love and babies! That was a dangerous combination of lack of understanding! So I guess my only worry would be that he be educated on accurate biology AND your beliefs.
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Therefore, I want him to understand there should be a relationship preferably marriage before making a baby. Our belief, maybe not yours, and either one is ok.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by BigToe
There's no reason for details until at least, puberty.
This brings up a thought I have had for a while now. Why are we, as a society, reticent to educate our kids about sexuality? It seems to me that that lack of education educates by default. That sexuality is somehow bad, Needs to be hidden. Isn't discussed. Kids are not dumb. They know.
Oh OP, there is a good set of books. It's Not the Stork and It's So Amazing.
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You probably tell your kids little white lies about the easter bunny and Santa, so it certainly can't hurt to let kids keep their innocence and tell them little white lies about pregnancy.
Just make something up that satisfies him.
I disagree with this so much. All that will get you is a reputation with your kid as unreliable. Keeping mum about the Easter bunny and lying about human sexuality. Not on the same plane.
Better would be to just limit what you say. He probably does not even WANT big detail right now. Watch him for what he is receptive to hearing.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
My younger foster sister was 7 and I was 18, we were driving to church with foster family and she asked why God was giving M* a baby if only married people had babies and M* wasn't married. My foster parents asked me to handle that one. It took a few days of her asking questions and me answering. Finally I saw a click. She realized that she would be in control of this issue when she got older.
My other foster sister had an issue with anorexia some years later...I was home on leave. Foster mom did not know what to do. I finally sat down foster sister who at that time wanted to have children when she got older and explained about the long-term effects of depriving your body of nutrients and calories, on existing structures such as blood vessels, uterus, ovaries, bones, ligaments, etc. She started eating again.
Your child trusts you to give him information. This is why he asked so soon. You are doing a great job as a parent if your child can ask you these questions it shows he is in a healthy environment. Right now his energy is going into growing up so you can also ask him to trust you when you tell him that as he grows he will feel the things that he needs to feel to understand fully how babies are made and raised. The way he trusts you and feels your love for him, he will be able to give to his own children if he chooses to have them, and that is part of how babies are made. When you can trust and give to another person that you love. It's okay to tell him it's complicated and that adults don't always get it right which is why it is good he came to you rather than relying on what he sees or hears from friends or in movies, books, etc. That some sources of information aren't the best, while some are very good.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
I agree with the other posters. If they are asking questions they are old enough for some answers. The other point to consider is if they are mature enough to handle the info. Some kids are so proud of knowledge that they will declare it in inappropriate places. Some people just don't want to address sex and having a kid openly say a baby comes out of a vagina in Church is offensive to many.So when we got to the details sometimes we witheld a bit until the next talk. Then we would also talk about when it is appropriate to discuss it. And this wasn't just a one time discussion we would repeat it every so often so that it became comfortable knowledge. What worked for us was using pictures from the book, A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson. Pictures really engage kids and it helps change the focus from just sex to the whole picture of the development of a baby.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
Wow some really good points. Thank you all. Mom6547, no offense taken =)
I guess I was just so unprepared at his age for that question. I believe he was satisfied with the answer, as I did not lie. I told him enough, and told him I would explain it better when he was older.
Thank you again for your thoughts, it is much appreciated.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by Mom6547
This brings up a thought I have had for a while now. Why are we, as a society, reticent to educate our kids about sexuality? It seems to me that that lack of education educates by default. That sexuality is somehow bad, Needs to be hidden. Isn't discussed. Kids are not dumb. They know.
Why must they know? What is a seven year old going to do with the information? They cannot possibly act on it or even discuss it maturely. They likely could not relay it to another seven year old accurately. There's no point.
Suggesting that not telling a seven year old about sex indicates that sex is somehow bad or needs to be hidden is illogical because a seven year old wouldn't know the difference. I see absolutely no difference between telling a seven year old that there is a bunny which delivers chocolate and candies on Easter morning, and that babies come from storks or get into their mothers tummies just by their mothers wishing for it.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
Big Toe. In some areas children are present at their mother's home births or hospital births. Children talk, and children listen, to each other. When my now 20 year old went to boys' camp at age 10, I sent a copy of the My Body My Self Book for Boys with him, mostly so that he could keep it on hand to settle arguments about what was accurate and what was not.
It is good for children to know about sex when they ask.
This makes them feel safe. We teach children about keeping parts of their bodies private. Telling them this - and of course they know that there is danger involved because otherwise we wouldn't bother - can be scary. Giving them accurate information without being unnecessarily explicit is important. They do need to understand about predatory behavior and loving respectful behavior and for some people also exploratory behavior (depending on religious and cultural preferences of the parent). They need to know this information so that they can own it and feel like they are in control of what is going on, adolescence is scary. You can't wait until the first nocturnal emission or a girls' period to start this education, in my opinion.
Emotional education and self-esteem and knowledge and a feeling of understanding about one's body is not really something that is on par with the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause.
The Grimm Brothers actually give a lot of useful information about predators vs. true love. A lot of people shun these traditional stories because of the knight in shining armor and damsel in distress themes. But I don't think it's like that at all.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
I am the type of Mom what will answer everythnig and anything if they ask. I may even to guitly of giving "too much information" for their age. But in the whole scheme of things, I feel this is better than avoiding communication on any of these more controverisal subjects.
I am not one of those parents who go "Sssshhhhh the children are in the room", they just kind of grow up hearing it all . So far so good.
My husband was raised like that, I can't say it did him any favors.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by BigToe
Why must they know? What is a seven year old going to do with the information?
Learn about their world. That is their job at 7.
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They cannot possibly act on it or even discuss it maturely.
Why not? I just had a conversation with my 7yo daughter last night about reproduction. They learn about plant reproduction, bird reproduction and all manner of living things' reproduction in school. We are mammals. We reproduce in the same way as all mammals.
A seven year old who is spoken to like an intelligent life form will act like an intelligent life form.
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They likely could not relay it to another seven year old accurately. There's no point.
Suggesting that not telling a seven year old about sex indicates that sex is somehow bad or needs to be hidden is illogical because a seven year old wouldn't know the difference.
Oh yes they would. They can begin piecing the puzzle together at a young age. My seven year old has seen the Transformer movies.
If the topic is treated with avoidance, then over time they will have to come to the conclusion that there is something bad about it otherwise you would be right up front about it.
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I see absolutely no difference between telling a seven year old that there is a bunny which delivers chocolate and candies on Easter morning, and that babies come from storks or get into their mothers tummies just by their mothers wishing for it.
I can't imagine why you would bother telling them that lie when there is nothing wrong with the truth. THEY will understand the difference between a pretty fantasy that we allow them to think for their own fun and a down right lie. There is nothing pretty or fantastical about a stork.
Re: How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech?
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Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno
Children talk, and children listen, to each other. When my now 20 year old went to boys' camp at age 10, I sent a copy of the My Body My Self Book for Boys with him, mostly so that he could keep it on hand to settle arguments about what was accurate and what was not.
This makes me think of two good points. One is that we have spoken to the kids as has their pediatrician about the misinformation one can get from other kids. That kids, just like them, may not know or understand everything and that Mom and Dad, their health teacher and the docs are decent sources for truthful and accurate information. This is a good thing to share with kids.
The second point is that 7 is older than some might think. At 7 my son was waking up with morning erections. My now 7yo daughter has experienced pleasure in the shower. 7 is three short years from 10. My now 10yo has pubic hair and BO. Stops to look at girls' pictures in magazines when he is reading. Has a crush on a girl summer camp.
Do I confuse them with happy horse****? Or do I arm them with knowledge? I personally choose the latter.
How old is old enough for the Birds and the Bees speech? 
