[Lotsofluv]

This is my first time posting here, I am not sure how to start.

My husband and my self have been married for 3.5 years. He is 10.5 years older than me and has 3 children from a prior relationship. They are all hispanic and I am white. I had a son from a prior relationship and since then we have had a little girl together. Things havent always been the best for us and we have struggled and struggled to make it through. Since the begging, our lifes have changed DRAMATICALLY. Every year we seem to grow as a family and succeed more and more.

But my husband and my self are real different. We dont like any of the same things. He is SO jealouse. He makes up things in his head that I could never imagine my self doing in a million years... when he starts drinking its like he is a totally different person. He seems to not have any feelings. Like he is empty inside. I am a loving, sentimental lady that had a good upbringing and good family times. I belive in laughing and making memories for this children to keep, and he just likes to give orders and yell.

There really is alot more to this story, but If I kept going this would be a novel.

Basically I dont know what to do. I LOVE him so much and we really are good for one another. But there are times that I think its just to much and he is not a happy enough person for me to continue my life with. When he is gone I miss him SOOOOOO much. But sometimes when he is here being his usual grumpy self I wish I could just run away for ever....... Not sure how to feel.. I just needed to express my self. Thanks for listening any one.