[pgk453]

My ex-husband recently told me that he got a lady pregnant several years before we were married and they gave the baby up for adoption. He has not told our two adult children this. Should I tell them? Do they have the right to know that they have a half sister out there?

[SimplyAmorous]

Originally Posted by pgk453

My ex-husband recently told me that he got a lady pregnant several years before we were married and they gave the baby up for adoption. He has not told our two adult children this. Should I tell them? Do they have the right to know that they have a half sister out there?

I would want to know if I was the children-and especially since they are adults. Sometimes people learn of these things on someone's death bed, I dont think that is fair. More of HIS (your ex's) responsiblity though.

Surely he realizes you may tell them -since he told you . I wonder why he has not himself.

[wunderbar]

Firstly, while he told you his secret after all of these years, it isn't your responsibility to tell your kids.

Secondly, would anything even come of you telling them? Most adoption records are sealed very tightly and, without the use of a private eye, most times it is not easy and might be impossible due to privacy concerns to find the person.

Finally, family is what you make it. Biology isn't everything. My 'half brother' biologically is my whole brother emotionally. He apparently has other half siblings from his biological Dad's previous marriage, but doesn't think its important for him to know them. My Dad biologically, adopted my brother, and in his words 'is his only Father.'

While I'm sure you are hurt by this revelation the best solution may not be revealing it to everyone, but its something to discuss with your husband and consider everyone's interests & emotions for a while before making anything known. Good luck.