08-09-2011, 05:25 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
| | Feel like my wife is trying to ruin our marriage.
First off, i'd like to give some background information. My wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have 2 kids, one 2 years old, and another 10 months old. Shes a stay at home mom, and i work full-time and attend school full-time. The problem i'm having is that it seems no matter how hard I try to be there for my wife she doesn't seem to want to even try to be there for me.
Lately, we've been having issues over household chores and how to manage them between the two of us, and also time spent with other people and how to address the other's feelings about doing that. While doing school and work, my normal chores before a couple months ago, was dishes, trash, and laundry. In the past few months however, I have had to do those three, plus cleaning (mopping, straightening, and watch the kids for 4 hours in the morning after i get home from work, i work overnights). But after i have taken on these extra responsibilities which has put a lot of stress on me, she now complains that i don't spend enough time with her, and gets upset when I don't go over to her friends house with her where she likes to smoke (pot) and drink. This leads to the second major issue. She has started smoking pot again. A lot. about 5-6 times a day, and I think that is part of the reason she has trouble getting stuff done during the day. She also has friends that she likes to hang out with 2-3 times a week, but its always at night, sometimes until 5-6 in the morning, on my nights off. I've asked her MANY times to please spend time with me and that it bothers me when she smokes and drinks with friends that late at night. We just had an argument a couple nights ago where I had spent the entire day cleaning and helping her with the kids, then when it hit 11:00 at night i was so tired i had to go to sleep. When i woke up at 3:30 in the morning she still wasn't home, so i went to her friends house and she was upset that I was trying to ask her to come home and either sleep or spend some time with me. Then she said that she can't believe that even after she asked me to hang out with her friends that I went to sleep.
On top of all this she is constantly degrading me and telling me how i'm a horrible person and that everyone hates me and thats why I don't have many friends. I feel like i'm in another world sometimes because I know i try my hardest for her and the kids but I can never seem to do enough.
I do get frustatred sometimes, and I ask her to please help me wi the chores during the day, because its a lot of works, but she just goes off on me saying that a stay at home mom job is a lot harder than what I do. I tried to explain to her that I understand its very hard and thats why I help her, but I'm not sure if thats enough for her. I love her very much and I really am trying to work things out.
Has anybody ever gone through something similiar to this? Am i the one not doing enough for the relationship? I know my parents never went out that late at night, but for parents our age 24-25, is it normal for parents to stay out until as late as she does?
Thanks for any help.
Last edited by guy1234; 08-09-2011 at 05:31 AM.