[TheMizz...erable]

Wife left 12 days ago. Took son. She wants to move 12 hours away to be with her family and son says he'd like to go. If he goes with her, I won't hardly ever get to see him. It was bad enough that wife left but losing my son too is not something I am coping with very well.

[turnera]

You have legal control over whether she moves that far away with your son. Use it.

[TheMizz...erable]

I could file for custody but he prefers to be with mom. My lawyer said that I cannot keep her from moving with our son. She does have to give me a certain amount of notice though.

So if my own lawyer says that, what can I do?

[turnera]

How old is he?

[TheMizz...erable]

12, soon to be 13.

[turnera]

That's what I meant. If you don't have a legal separation, she can do whatever she wants. If you want him back in your life, you can either move to where they are and continue as you are (and hope she doesn't move again), or else pay to get a legal separation/divorce going, in which case you DO have rights.

Your choice.

[uhaul4mybaggage]

Don't roll over on this. Been there, done that. Would give anything for a do-over. Find 3 close friends/relatives who are divorced and came out on top. Rally them around you for advice, esp on where to find a better lawyer. You can do this. But you want to make sure you do it right, because mediation is binding and so is court, so get as many of your facts straight and verified beforehand as you can. There are dad custody support groups online too for dads rights. Search them. Good luck. He might like her better (mine likes his dad better,) but that doesn't mean he doesn't need you both.

[TheMizz...erable]

Wife texted me yesterday that she has retained an attorney. I called mine but by that point he was out for the day.

Wife and I made an agreement that after her weekend I would get to see son on Monday and Wednesday. After my weekend I get to see him on Wednesday. Even though legally at this point I have as much right to him as she does. She texted me yesterday that the typical visitation is every other weekend and Wednesday so she will not let me see him on Monday now.

She has no legal right to do this. I told her so and she said that I could wait until the court decides if I prefer and to not push my luck. I hope my lawyer can do something with this info along with other times of her limiting my time. I haven't even had full weekends yet. 6:00 pm friday to 12:00 sunday and 6:00 pm friday to 2:00 sunday.

And she says stuff like "I have to force him to go to see you as it is". When he's here, things are fine. It's when he's there that there seems to be problems like him barely talking to me on the phone.

She also said he hates going to my dad's house. Yes he's mentioned twice in the last week that he wants to spend the night over there.

I just hope that I don't get screwed over in court.

[FirstYearDown]

She might be poisoning your son's mind, which would explain why he hardly wants to speak to you or see you.

Hate to break it to you, but fathers usually get shafted when it comes to custody, unless the mother is unfit.

[TheMizz...erable]

She may be. I know that at times when I had to get onto him about something, while she was standing there, she would be visibly upset as if I were punishing her. And he sees this. I always felt if we disagreed about something, talk about it in private. She would disagree in front of son or let it be known she was not happy via her actions.

I know I have an uphill fight but what else can I do?

[FirstYearDown]

Get. A. Lawyer. NOW!

[TheMizz...erable]

I called and left a msg with lawyer on friday.

[FirstYearDown]

Research other lawyers and leave messages with the best ones you can afford.

[TheMizz...erable]

I am confident with this one. I've talked to him before and he's represented my dad and my wife when we were having trouble with her son years ago.

[FirstYearDown]

Sounds like you are on the right track. I hope everything works out.