Parental Alienation - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 05-25-2016, 10:50 AM
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Re: Parental Alienation

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Originally Posted by EnjoliWoman View Post
In my case I didn't want my daughter to become narcissistic because it would have been permanent.
Yeah it's probably too late for my daughters.

It was probably too late after the first estrangement.

The change I saw in them over those short few years was astronomical.

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 05-26-2016, 11:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental Alienation

One thing I want to bring up about the alienation is that I remember him telling me that mom was there for him and now (when the divorce was happening) he was going to be there for her. And I think...the reason mom was there was because dad worked 10-12 hours a day or night, up to 6 days a week. Dad is the workhorse that made the money that paid the bills and put food on the table. Mom was able to work a part time job in the school cafeteria and was off when our son was off. And again, that was because of me.

Anyway, I have read the thread and I can see both sides of the story. I did what I thought was best while still being able to support myself. Some good news in that he has been over to see me a couple of times in the past month or so.
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 01:13 PM
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Re: Parental Alienation

This is undoubtedly a very complicated situation that has gone on a long time and is chronic. No easy solutions. The good news..if you can call it that..is that it is so bad that your son has to realize this.

I'd do two things. The first, is separate the nonsense btwn you and your ex and the ensuing difficulties, from the real issues btwn you and your son. They're related, but frankly it doesn't sound like you can fix both. Maybe by separating them you can focus on the important one..your son. This isn't ideal but b/c he's older, even though it's obviously preferable to co parent him, he's at an age where you can parent him independently.

Then I'd sit down with him and ask him what's been bothering him..in general and specifically with you. Chances are he won't be prepared for that, so I'd let him think it over for a few days and revisit it. Be prepared to listen and not defend yourself, either.

You can repair a deteriorated relationship, but its easier when you start with the basics, even if they go back a long ways. It doesn't sound as if you've had the luxury to do that, you're in crisis mode, but consider taking the "Hey, let's talk" tack and see where that goes.

Professional therapy also a really good idea.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 05-27-2017, 11:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Parental Alienation

Been a year now since I started this thread. Just wanted to update. My son is 18 and quit school a few months ago. His mom moved and didn't let him go with her. HE contacted me for the first time in months and just asked for money. I have been going thru a financial hardship and when I said no, he got mad, said FU and hung up. That was a couple of months ago. Have heard nothing since.
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