[girl friday]

Goodness what a mess. He needs to move out, sort his life and have some space to grieve for what he has lost. Then and only then will he be in a position to offer you any form of a relationship. He is quite capable of sorting out custody and access issues without living in the same house of his ex.

Be very careful, going down the road of having a relationship with someone who has more baggage than LAX is like walking through a minefield blindfolded. You have his past to deal with, his control issues, his trust issues and also, once a cheater ... you have heard the phrase a leopard doesn't change its spots, he may also do this to you too.

Lots of things to take into consideration. Make space for you to think very seriously about this. There is no rush.

[I'mInLoveWithMyHubby]

You'd be a fool to stay with him. Once a cheater always a cheater. My ex h cheated on me and now he cheats on his current wife. Don't think your bf is any different. Who knows, maybe he is having an affair on his wife with you.
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[rumple9]

Give the guy a break.

I am in exactly the same situation as he is. My partner and I have been together 21 years and have a 12 year old daughter. I discovered her affair in December. She refuses to move out (for selfish reasons a we have a very large comfortable home) and I cannot afford to move out and run 2 homes so we are stuck in limbo living in the same house until it sells. 5 months have passed now and it's sheer hell.

I really want to move on with my life and meet someone new but I have made a conscious decision that I cannot practically start dating until I have my own place. In esence that means for me no fun, no affection and no sex. It's a pretty lonley and miserable existance for me at the minute so I'm concentrating on work. The house could take another year or longer to sell. In the meantime my ex/roomie call her what you will, now rubs my nose in it and openly carries on her affair.

What you have to remember is that your fella has been with his wife for 14 years and will be totally inept and clueless about the dating game as lots of thing have changed in the last 10 years with the internet, dating sites, facebook and mobile phones. Frankly I find it terrifying. The last time I asked a girl out was in 1989 in a night club where the girls used to dance round their handbags in white stillettoes.

Alternatively can't he move in with you?

[Numb in Ohio]

I was in this same situation, ( which I had never dated a "separated" man before and never will again... we have been married 9 years and found out he had cheated on his exw with 2 other women,, and I caught him in 2 EA's.... we are now separated.

" Run fast, don't look back"

[gav]

I let my ExW stay at the house for a few months until she found another place to go, but that's about it.

Even that much time was horrible. At a certain point you need to just cut your losses, I think...

[Honeystly]

a married cheater.... run!