Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me - Talk About Marriage
The Family & Parenting Forums Family dynamics can be exactly that - dynamic! Post here about family related issues such as parenting, blended families, step-families, new relationships with children involved, family of origin issues, in-laws or sibling issues.

User Tag List

 35Likes
  • 3 Post By marduk
  • 5 Post By bankshot1993
  • 8 Post By marduk
  • 3 Post By marduk
  • 5 Post By brooklynAnn
  • 6 Post By EnjoliWoman
  • 1 Post By larry.gray
  • 3 Post By frusdil
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 6
Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Title says it all.

My kids stumbled upon some extremely graphic (no pics) texts between my wife and me.

They are 10 and 13. They were shocked. I'm mortified.

So far I've told them the truth. That we've been married for 20 years and are very happy together. We've assured them that the texts were between us. (Son thought that maybe they were between me and another woman.)

Anything else to tell them? I'm trying to convince myself that this is less embarassing than them walking in on us...

ChrisSmith is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:35 PM
Member
 
marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7,490
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Change the passcode on your phone and tell them not to intrude on your privacy again.

What a husband and wife do behind the bedroom door and what they text each other are similar things -- as in, none of the kid's business. And they're old enough to know that.

And make sure that they can't 'stumble' on that kind of thing again.
marduk is offline  
post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 6
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Thanks...they were not intentionally trying to invade anyone's privacy. They did nothing wrong.
ChrisSmith is offline  
 
post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:47 PM
Member
 
bankshot1993's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: alberta
Posts: 252
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

My kids give me and the wife a hard time when they hear us make any reference to sex (both sons 22,13). I just tell them that they should be happy that they have parents that are still into each other that way after 30 years because the alternative is a divorced couple and shared custody.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
bankshot1993 is offline  
post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:55 PM
Member
 
marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7,490
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisSmith View Post
Thanks...they were not intentionally trying to invade anyone's privacy. They did nothing wrong.
How did they see it?

Listen, man. At some point your kids are going to walk in on you, or hear you, or whatever. It's going do dawn on them where babies come from.

You just agree to keep it away from them, and they agree to let you, and you put a lock on the door.

But if it happens, you talk about it, and then everybody gets over it.

If your kids are going to be in therapy one day for your parenting style, I'd rather it be because mommy and daddy loved each other and ****ed each other's brains out than because they came from a cold, loveless marriage.
marduk is offline  
post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 01:58 PM
Member
 
marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7,490
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

PS my kids once started banging on the door asking why I'm hurting mommy so bad that she keeps calling out to God.

**** happens.
marduk is offline  
post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 03:30 PM
Member
 
brooklynAnn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 1,369
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Just tell them to be happy that mummy and daddy still love each other. My nosy son who used to sit infront of my bedroom door until it opens up to see me once more before he sleeps, wanted to know why I am always calling his dad's name. Was dad ok?

Shut me up really well. Now I am the queen of silent moans. Darn kid have some big ears. He does.

They will get over it. Keep hugging and kissing mum in front of them and they will understand it's the norm in your house. Like my H told my son, this is my woman and I will hug and kiss her when I want. You get your own woman.

Kids, they think we only had sex to get them.
brooklynAnn is offline  
post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 03:54 PM
Member
 
EnjoliWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast
Posts: 4,371
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Heh. I'd purposely embarrass them further - while within earshot of them, say to your wife "hey, how about we go to the bedroom to follow up on that text you sent" with a wink and a devious grin. They'll be mortified.

It's great they understand that Mom and Dad DO still do that stuff; not just twice when they were each conceived. You are setting an example for what a man and wife are to be like and that's great. No need to hide it; no need to flaunt it. Just... lock your phones and your door.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
EnjoliWoman is offline  
post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 04:37 PM
Member
 
larry.gray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,382
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Once you clairified that it was between the two of you, there is nothing more to add.

And having been n both situations, being walked in on is WAY worse.
larry.gray is offline  
post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 04:38 PM
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 10,051
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Grownups say and do grownup things.


Is there such thing as insanity among penguins? - Werner Herzog
Runs like Dog is offline  
post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-01-2016, 04:42 PM
Member
 
larry.gray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,382
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisSmith View Post
Thanks...they were not intentionally trying to invade anyone's privacy. They did nothing wrong.
I wouldn't say punishment is in order (i'm sure they regret reading it!!), but why are they reading your texts? I don't read my older kids' texts (for the same reason). My kids sometimes transcribe for my wife if she's driving. I always predicate a naughty text with "KOS?" It's a play on POS, short for "parent over shoulder," a warning to keep it clean.
larry.gray is offline  
post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 05:39 AM
Member
 
frusdil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,942
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Quote:
Originally Posted by marduk View Post
PS my kids once started banging on the door asking why I'm hurting mommy so bad that she keeps calling out to God.

**** happens.


Friends of ours have 3 kids, the oldest being 11. They were going at it one night thinking the kids were asleep...well...they were so worried about "poor mummy" that they called the police!!!! Rofl!

Parents were MORTIFIED. Cops thought it was hilarious! Lol!
frusdil is offline  
post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 06-02-2016, 01:15 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 250
Re: Kids saw explicit texts between my wife and me

Yes to increasing all the privacy settings.

What you can also do is take a deep breath, and ask them what they thought and felt when they saw them and get into a conversation about it...they obviously have some inaccurate ideas about you and your wife..or adult relationships...that could use some updating.
Unicus is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome